SCENE 6: The Mashhouse

City, Larry the Axe, Lily & Nelson bump into each other

Larry the Axe
How ya doing Lillian! Nice to see ya darlin’

Lily
You too Larry… you’re looking good

Larry The Axe
I’m feelin’ good

Lily
{embracing City}
Alright babe

City
Glad ya could make it… who’s this ray of sunshine

Lily
He... is with me

City
Does he have a name?

Nelson
I certainly do. I’m Nelson, nice to meet you

Nelson & City shake hands}

City
Ooo! Such strong hands – where’ve you been hiding this one, Lily

Lily
We’ve only just met, but its going really well

Larry
I’m Larry, mate, Larry the Axe, & this is my fiance Felicity

Nelson
Nice one, nice to meet yas

Larry
Likewise – so lets get this party started shall we – who wants a drink

Lily
I’ll have a G&T please

Nelson
I’ll give you a hand mate, lets do some bonding

City
Pernod & coke babe…. by the way, Nelson, do call me City… y’know cities never sleep, & I can keep going all night

Larry
{exiting with Nelson}
Sorry about that – she gets a wee bit excitable does mah lassie

Lily
Oi – hands off – you’re supposed to be engaged

City
Sorry, I’m coming up on half a pill, you know what I’m like

Lily
No worries honey – got any more

City
I don’t actually, I was hoping to catch TC

{Enter TC putting his arms round Lily & City}

TC
Yo-yo-yo ladies, thanks for coming down – the pair of ya are looking absolutely ravishing as always –so, is there anything I can do you for

Lily
Got any pills

TC
Obviously – here you, go there’s ten in there, giz sixty & they’re yours

Lily
{to City}
Have you got thirty quid

City
I owe you a tenner from last time remember,

Lillian
O yeah

City
Here’s 4forty from me TC

Lily
& there’s the other 20

TC
Pleasure doing business ladies – I shall see you two on the dancefloor – looking down from my cool fucking DJ booth

Lily
It’s sounding good

TC
Cheers – I’ve got some proper bangers in the bank

Lily
Nice one

TC
Talking of which, there’s one coming up now, I’d better…

Exit TC

Lily
He’s such a wi-do that guy

City
Innit

Enter Nelson & Larry the Axe with drinks

Larry
Here ya go

City
Cheers babe

Lily
Nice one Larry

City
{handing out pills}
& weve got a little something for you

Nelson
Where d’ya get them from

Lily
You just missed TC

Nelson
Good!

City
Alright guys – to a top fucking night

Larry
Lets have it

They all down a pill & start to pull The Jacksons ‘shake your body’ moves

Lily
Right – lets dance, lets shout, shake your body down to the ground… lets dance, lets shout, shake your body down to the ground…

---

GOOD TIME GIRL

Nelson
I’m a man you’re a woman
& a woman & a man gotta make a plan
In the frying pan
I see you comin along
With yer legs so long
In a full ensemble

I’m a man you’re a woman &
& a woman & a man gotta make a plan
When the plan demands
I’m standin’ singing my song
Coming along
Cos I know that I want ya

You’re a good time, a good time girl
& thats the kind I like-a right now, now
Yeah shes a good time, a good time girl

I know I’ll get a good, good time
Because a good time is on her mind

Lily
I know I’ll get a good, good time
Because a good time is on my mind

Lily dances with Hamish who moves away from Katie & Krissie

Nelson

Im a friend & a lover & a lover is a friend
When ya sensing tension on the floor
I see you slippin the twirl & trippin the girl
They used to be after

When a man sees a vision & a vision sees a man
Its a mission if the competition grows
I see ya playin’ the star
Baby you are the belle of the baftas

You’re a good time, a good time girl
& thats the kind I like-a right now, now
Yeah shes a good time, a good time girl

I know I’ll get a good, good time
Because a good time is on her mind

Lily
I know I’ll get a good, good time
Because a good time is on my mind

Lily
I know I’ll get a good good time
Because a good time is on my mind x 2
Yeayyeye –

Nelson
Shes so good lookin, im lovin’ my good time girl (repeat)

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SCENE 7: The Ladies Toilets

Krissie & Katie are doing their make up & hair while queuing for a cubicle

Katie
What do you think

Krissie
You look great babe
{pointing to her make-up}
Just a little bit more here & it’ll be perfect

Katie
You know a mirror can only see so much – its essential to have an honest girlfriend with ya on a night out

Krissie
It’s a wicked buzz tonight

Katie
But…Tinky Disco,!? what the fuck does that mean?

Krissie
Dunno – but it, but it kinda fits, especially with that dodgy gadgie TC on the decks

Stacey leaves her cubicle – stares the girls down

Stacey
Boo!

Katie
Charming

Krissie
What a barnpot!

Katie
Anyway, you go in first, it looks like you’re busting

Krissie
Thanks – I am – will you do my dress for me, its too tight

Katie
I don’t know why you put on such baffling outfiits Krissie– I mean they look great, but are completely impracticle

Krissie
Cheers – won’t be long

Enter Brenda looking for India

Brenda
India?

India
I’m in here

Brenda
You alright?

India
I’m just having a pee

Brenda drops her bag, bends down to pick it up & sees a needle wrapper on the floor of India’s cubicle

Brenda
Oi, India, what are you up to in there

India
I’m having a pee, leave me alone

Brenda
Are you a diabetic or summat

India
No

Brenda
What’s the needle for then

India
Ehm

Brenda
I know exactly what youre doing – it’s a fucking mugs game love
{to Katie}
Sorry about this

Katie
Is she a smack head?

Brenda
Think so… come on India, its not worth it, you’ll ruin yer life on that stuff

India
Away ‘n’ bile yer heid

Katie
What’s she called

Brenda
India

Katie
Hey India – smackupuncture’s not cool babe, especially in a nightclub, its rude

A sustained silence – Krissie leaves the cubicle

Brenda
India, come on out, we can talk about it, trust me, I’ve been there, let me help you out

India flushes the loo then exits the cubicle & gives Brenda a hug

Brenda
That’s the first step darlin, well done, now listen up

***

TINKY DISCO SAVED THE JUNKIE

Brenda
Tinky Disco saved the junkie
Tinky Disco saved the junkie
Tinky Disco saved the junkie
Tinky disco, Lets go, lets go

Don’t do smack no don’t do smack
I see you headin down that track
That shit is worse than a heart attack
It kills you & your friends yeah

Don’t shoot that shit into your arm
That shit is gonna do you harm
Don’t shoot that shit into your legs
You’ll end up hobbling round on pegs
With the gutter dregs

Katie
Wake up yer just a dealer’s flunky

Krissie
They’re messing with yer mind like a wind-up monkey

Brenda
Stand up girl fit & funky

Katie, Krissie, Brenda
Tinky Disco saved the junkie
Tinky Disco saved the junkie
Tinky Disco saved the junkie
Tinky disco, Lets go, lets go

Don’t do smack no don’t do smack
You aint no joker in the pack
You’ll soon be choking on your back
The bullshit never ends yeah

Don’t shoot that shit into your eyes
That shit’s the devil in disguise
Don’t shoot that shit into your veins
You’ll lose your ill-begotten gains
& your grandma hangs her head in shame

Katie
Don’t do smack no don’t do smack
You aint no joker in the pack
You’ll soon be choking on your back
The bullshit never ends yeah

Krissie
Don’t shoot that shit into your eyes
That shit’s the devil in disguise
Don’t shoot that shit into your veins
You’ll lose your ill-begotten gains

Brenda
& your grandma hangs her head in shame

Katie
Wake up yer just a dealer’s flunky

Krissie
They’re messing with yer mind like a wind-up monkey

Brenda
Stand up girl fit & funky

Katie, Krissie, Brenda
Tinky Disco saved a junkie

Enter Lily

Lily
Chennai
Shanghai
Moscow
Rio de janero
Jo-berg
Saint Petersburg
Helsinki
Y’all keepin it tinky

Glasgow
Chicago
Tirana
Espanola
Bolton
Haddington
San Francisco
Lets all have a disco

Brenda
Don’t do smack no don’t do smack
I see you headin down that track
That shit’s worse than a heart attack
It kills you & your friends yeah

Lily
Don’t do smack no don’t do smack
To get that monkey off your back
Just chuck that monkey in a sack
& let the fucker drown

Katie
Wake up yer just a dealer’s flunky

Krissie
They’re messing with yer mind like a wind-up monkey

Brenda
Stand up girl fit & funky

Katie, Krissie, Brenda, Lily
Tinky Disco saved a junkie

***

India
I’m hearing ya, girls, I really am,

Krissie
Listen to her – she’s a good friend

Katie
Its just not worth it, doll – anyway, see yous on the dance floor girls

Exit Katie & Krissie

Lily
Taking heroin is like getting stuck down a rabbit hole

Brenda
& it aint no wonderland down there, trust me

India
You’re right – im just a bit misguided sometimes

Lily
Look, let’s chop some uppers out –I’ve got a wee coke & ecstasy cocktail that’ll put a kick in yer groove like a soul on the move

India
OK cool

Lily
Brenda, you in

Brenda
If you don’t mind

Lily
Course not –would you mind stepping into my office ladies

City, Brenda & Lily enter the cubicle laughing

---

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SCENE 8: The Mashhouse

Brooklyn is chatting to the General / Hamish, Stacey, Nelson & City are dancing – Enter Krissie & Katie – Brooklyn notices them arrive & makes his approch

Brooklyn
Here you go ladies, open wide

Katie
What are they

Brooklyn
Top grade ecstasy

Krissie
I’ll have one

Katie
Go on then, why not

Brooklyn
These are for being the best looking fillies in da house
{popping pills in the girls’ mouths}
So whats your names?

Katie
I’m Katie, she’s Krissie

Krissie
We do everything together

Brooklyn
Cool, they call me Brooklyn… DJ Brooklyn – I organised this little soiree you are currently attending &, may I ask, are you enjoying yourselves

Katie
You’ve done well, we were just saying that, good effort

DJ Brooklyn
My pleasure

Enter The Cool Pool General

General
Alright girls

Katie & Krissie
Hiya

General
{to Brooklyn}
Aren’t ya gonna introduce us

Brooklyn
Sorry – where are my manners – ladies, this is my esteem’d gentleman friend, The Cool Pool General – General meet ehmm, ehmm, this is erm… erm… O fuck it… I’m gonna call ya Real Madrid & Barcelona – General, mate, meet Madrid & Barca

General
Nice one ladies… so who’s up for pulling some moves, then?

Krissie
Yeah, lets do it

Katie & Krissie cheer their encouragement then hit the dancefloor with the General & Brooklyn / City approaches Nelson

City
Alright handsome

Nelson
Hey, City

City
Where’s Lily

Nelson
Shes in the loo I think – where’s Larry

City
He’s off chatting with some of his ‘associates’ – you do know you’re a bit of a fox, don’t ya –

Nelson
A what?

City
A fox – you’re foxy

Nelson
I am?

City
Yeah, we’d have a made a nice couple me & you, like the king & queen of the prom

Nelson
I’ve never thought about it to be honest

City
What, so since you’ve met me, even in your deeeeeepest subconscious, you’ve never imagined what it would be like to, y’know, go with me on a high speed train

Nelson
A what

City
On a high speed train, when ya trevellin…’ Intercity

Nelson
Ehm

City
{kicking off her shoes}
I’m only teasin,’ come on, lets have a proper dance

***

FLIRTELITY

Nelson
Shes got no shoes on
I put my moves on
Its time to cruise on up
To the girl with the suncookin tan

City
I think hes clocked me
He’s proper cockey
Hope he’s no Cockney nob
Because hes a good lookin man

Nelson
She looks obscure
I’d like to do her
I’m lookin thro her top
& I stop cos I wanna cop some more

City
I’m up & struttin
Slip slide & slutty
Its time to cut inside
As I glide to his side cross the floor

Nelson
Ahh its kissin time
Gonna taste the tongue o’ this girl so fine

City
NO— you aint got there yet
I’m hangin on for my tete-a-tete

Nelson
I got my eye in
Cheatin & lyin
She is a lionesse
But I’m blest with a fast sharp fork tongue

City
He gives me twirl style
Twist like a turn style
Whippin the whirl while
I’m just happy ba-bobbin along

Nelson
I put my oar in
She’s all but snoring
She finks im borin’
But I’d test the best of Cairo

City
I like ya near
My hemisphere
I’d like to be ya
Date, or mate, or would you like to know

Nelson
I’m just killing time
Until the time your tongue is mine

City
Pure apocalypse when kissing slips
Between our lips

Nelson
You’ve got to keep on
Push down the pylons
Set off the fire alarms

City
Then keep the beat strong
Let your feet stomp
It wont be long before were one

Nelson & City
& when were both in harmony
That’s you & me in ecstasy
& when weve gone & harmonized
We’ll keep the feeling feelin’ really nice
You & me that’s harmony
Me & you, what shall we do

Nelson
I fink shes foxy
Without her socks yeah
Completely rocks the world
This girl with the sun cookin tan

City
He’s such a honey
So cute & funny
I’d like to run him home
Hmm-hmm he’s a good lookin man

***

Enter Lily

Lily
So what’s goin’ on here then

Nelson
We were just having a boogie

City
Yeah, he’s got some nice moves has your man

Lily
He does, does he?

Enter Larry

Larry
Alright people – guess what I’ve got– go on, oh, you’ll never guess –I’ve only just gone & scored a gram of proper Walter White – cheeky line anyone

City
Walter White! Where the fuck did you get that from babe

Larry
Its coming in through the Chinese students

Lily
Nice one… I haven’t had any of that in years

Larry
Well, shall we partake in the booth, its pretty discreet really

Lily
We’ll be with you in a minute

City
That is a proper score Larry

Larry
I thought so!

Exit City & Larry

Nelson
I’ve got this feeling you’re pissed off with me or something

Lily
Am I – I wonder why

Nelson
We were only dancing

Lily
Your hands were all over her – & you’ve got a semi -I should have left you to rot in jail, life’s a struggle enough without letting fucked-up muppets like you into it

Nelson
But baby, you’re the green mint triangle in the quality street box of my emotions – the semi is because I’m talking to you

Lily
Is it

Nelson
Of course it is, our bodies are connected, like, spiritually

Lily
I’m really sorry – I’m not the jealous type, but I’ve only just found ya & I’m terrified of losing ya

Nelson
Come here

Lily & Nelson embrace

Lily
It’s not a semi anymore

Nelson
Come on, lets have that line

Exit a loved-up Lily & Nelson / Enter TC & Stacey luvd up

TC
Yo Brooklyn!

Brooklyn
Whats happening bro?

TC
Hold the decks for a couple of tunes will ya, me & Stacey are gonna have a dance

Brooklyn
No worries – & by the way, I’m proud of ya – you’re doing a wicked job pal, totally saved the day

TC
It’s what I do, innit – I’m glad you asked me anyway, its kind of alright, this disco malarkey – gizza cuddle

TC & Brooklyn embrace

Stacey
Come on gaylord, lets boogie

SOLARIZED

TC
I cannot pretend
You don’t have a dart
It shot thro the smoke
& shatter’d my heart
Yes I know this is always
The way of the ravers
When you’re dancing for fun
Then some honey blows you away
In every way

I’m hypnotized
I’m making a bed in her eyes
I’m solarized
She might be the love of my life!

She is dancing

Stacey
We are dancing…

TC
Is this all a game
Some chemical ruse
My soul is aflame
It burns for my muse
She inspires me these fires
Are eternally blazing
When shes dancing for me
She can see that she blows me away
In every way

I’m hypnotized
She’s siftin’ the love from the lies
I’m solarized
She might be the light of my life

She is dancing

Stacey & TC
We are dancing…

Katie & Krissie start chatting up Brooklyn at the decks & distract him

TC
I’m open to something excepting evasive sensations
The twilight is over her solar eyes blow me away
In every way

I’m hypnotized
I think that I’ve just realized
I’m solarized
I’ve danced with the love of my life
O yes she is
There’s no doubt about it
O yes she is
I’m gonna scream & shout it
O yes she is
There’s no doubt it
No doubt about it

Tune finishes / Brooklyn becomes flustered / crowd moan their dissappreciation

TC
{running back to the decks}
Brooklyn, what ya playin’ at?

Enter the Silver Strobes…

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