Scene 24
Underneath Stoneypath Tower – Madelynn lies lifeless – the Faerie Queen, the Centaur & Puck are gather’d about her / enter Puss-in-Boots
Puss-in-Boots
Your highness, the enemy are fleeing – the battle is won
Faerie Queen
Yes – their leader lies here, she is no longer alive – poor thing – her evil ways got to her in the end
Enter Danglenose & Aimee
Puck
Danglenose – who is this
Danglenose
She is a friend of the little-big-girl
Faerie Queen
What is wrong with her
Danglenose
We are not sure
Faerie Queen
{examining Aimee}
Hmm – I think her soul has been stolen, probably by Madelaine
{examining Madelynn}
She is still warm, which means there is still enough life in her for the child’s soul to still be inside – I must act now, before its too late
{kneeling by Madelynn}
Soul, soul, swirl around
Let me find you, when you’re found
What a wondrous world is this
Come & join us with a kiss
The Faerie Queen kisses Madelynn, draws out Aimee’s soul & blows it back into Aimee, who wakes with a start
Aimee
What, what, where am I
Fairie Queen
{casting a spell over Aimee}
Light is good, truth is right
Give this little child the sight
Aimee sees all the Fairies with a gasp
Aimee
Woaah! Bella was telling the truth all the time – wow you guys are amazing
Faerie Queen
Aimee, my name is the Faerie Queen, Puss-in-Boots here will take you home
Aimee
Puss-in-Boots !!
Puss-in-Boots
Me-oww
Bella
Ah, man, this is mental – its so nice to meet you Mrs Faerie Queen
Faerie Queen
& you too, Aimee, now go, please, & go in in peace
Puss-in-Boots
This way
Aimee leaves with Puss-in-Boots
Puck, Centaur, take Madelynn away & bury her beneath a willow tree – it must be a willow tree to turn her spirit good
Puck
Where shall we find a willow tree
Faerie Queen
There are many by the riverside at Garvald… as for the rest of us, let us leave this place & all go home to Fairyland – but, please remember to fetch all our dead & wounded
Puck & Centaur take Madelaine away / exit a number of Fairies / enter Bella, Belinda, Bimbletongue & Puddlefoot
Pudlefoot
Where is everybody?
Danglenose
They’re all going back to Fairyland
Bella
Where’s Aimee
Danglenose
She’s gone down that path there, towards Garvald, with Puss-in-Boots
Bella
Puss-in-Boots!
Danglenose
Yes
Bella
We’d best catch her up
Bimbletongue
I’ll come with you – your home is my home remember
Of course it is, lets go, come on mum, we’re gonna catch up with Aimee
Belinda
Sure, lets go
Bella
She’s gone down that path, there
Belinda
Great, we can borrow a phone in Garvald & get your dad to pick us up – I’m so excited to see him
Bella
I’m so excited to see you see him – anyway, hurry up,
Puddlefoot
We should be going too, right
Danglenose
Where’s Griffinbeak
Puddlefoot
Oh, he must have gone off with the others, lets catch them up
Exit Bella & Belinda / exit Danglenose & Puddlefoot enter Fred & Janis
Fred
All the activity points to this place
Janis
But there’s nobody here now
Fred
I can’t believe you made me drive all this way for what, fields, & a boring old castle what a waste of time
There is a beeping sound
Janis
What was that
Fred
Wait a minute – there is a tiny trace of fairy magic still – over this way – yes – in these bushes here
The buzzing gets rapid
Janis
There must be something there
Fred
Apparently so
Janis
Well, it must be invisible to us, but I do have this
Fred
What is it
Janis
A special powder, it’s a mixture of holly leaves, sunflower seeds & ivy root, when crush’d together & sprinkl’d on a fairy, it will make them visible to us humans
{sprinkling powder in the bush}
Hah – what’s that… it’s it’s it’s
Fred
It’s weird, that’s no fairy
Janis
You’re right – it is a Domovoy, in Britain you would call them a Brownie
Fred
It just looks like an ugly little boy
Janis
No, this is full size
Fred
Is he – dead
Janis
No – just unconscious – & he’s wounded too – we will need to treat his wounds, put him in the crystal cage, then get him back to Milton Keynes as soon as possible – but we’ve done it Fred, we’ve found a fairy
Fred
That is not a fairy, mate – fairies are tiny, cute, they fly about & have a lot more style than that thin there, have you seen those trousers
Janis
The fairy realm is full of all sorts of different creatures – centaurs, leprechauns, & brownies included – but the point is – I can now prove that the faerie realm exists – we’re going to be famous, & probably very very rich
Fred
How rich
Janis
Very rich – the world’s press will pay a fortune to hear our story
Fred
In that case, let’s get this fairy & go home
Janis
OK, I’ll take the arms, you take the legs
Fred
You want me to actually touch that
Janis
Fred
Fred
Alright, alright, chill your beans
Janis
Ready
Fred
Uugh
Janis
One, two, three… lift – yeah, not to heavy, I’ll lead, follow me
Fred
Oh my god, where did it get these shoes from
Exit Janis & Fred
Scene 25
Bella’s house – James is pacing about looking worried – the phone goes
James
{answering excitedly}
Hello… no my broadphone is perfectly fine thank-you, no I’m just not interested, thank you very much, bye
The door opens – enter Bella & Belinda
Belinda
James
James
Belinda – is it really you
Belinda
Who else looks like this, darling
James
How, why, where, oh just come here
{they embrae}
I’ve missed you so much, where’ve you been
Bella
It’s a long story, dad
James
Bella
Belinda
Look, Bella will be able to explain better what happen’d better than I – but believe me darling I never left on purpose
James
I knew that, I knew that all along – you wouldn’t have just left Bella like that – you love her
Belinda
& you – I love you too – now then – is there actually anything to eat in this house, I am absolutely starving
James
How about some loving pie honey
Belinda
Ah my favorite
OUR LOVING PIE
You take the zest of a man
& a little pinch of woman
Sprinkle it down with some sweet energy
Shake it all around & bang it in the oven
We’ll have loving pie for tea
It tastes so sweet now
& it’s so dreamy oh so creamy inside
Our Lovin’ Pie
& when the cakes been baked
& the passion is arising
The flavour of the filling just flows fair free
Well take a little slice that’s o so appetising
& have loving pie for tea
It tastes so sweet now
& it’s so dreamy oh so creamy inside
Our loving pie
We gotta take time to make our loving pie
We gotta make time to bake our loving pie
Bella
Can we get takeaway instead
James
Of course we can
{passing Bella his phone}
Bella use that app thingy, let’s get some pizza in – order four big ones
Bella
Can I choose the toppings
James
Yep
Bella
Yay
Bella
& potato wedges
James
Just get whatever you want
James
{leading Belinda to the couch}
So come on, tell me everything, just exactly where have you been
Belinda
If I told you I’d been in Haddington all along being kept in a dream trance by an evil witch who held me captive in order to steal my beauty, would you believe me
James
No
Belinda
Well, that is, erm, kind of what happen’d
James
An evil witch – in Haddington – but where, who
Belinda
She’s gone now, honey, but there’s nothing to worry about any more, I’m home, I’m safe
They hug
Bella
{jumps in between them}
Can we get a big bottle of coke, pleeeease
James
I said get anything you like
Bella
Thanks dad – ah, welcome home mummy
Belinda
It’s great to be back
Group hug – theres a knock on the door & the phone beeps
James
Oh, the takeaways here
Belinda
Already
Bella
Mum, things have got so much faster while you’ve been asleep
Belinda
Ill get the plates
Bella
{getting the takeaway}
Thank you
Bella brings the food over
James
I’ll have a look if there’s any new films out
FAMILY TIME
When you find you’ve been a-living
With your family & they’ve been giving
You the best of times
Switch on your television
Flicking thro channels chomping on yer takeaway
Scene 26
Janis’s laboratory in Milton Keynes – Griffinbeak is in a cage – Fred is at his desk – Griffinbeak wakes up & starts panicking – tries to escape in an agitaed fashion
Fred
You’re awake – Calm down little one – don’t do that
{running to door}
JANIS! JANIS! – Hey, hey, hey, we’re not going to hurt you
Enter Janis
Janis
What’s happening
Fred
It’s awake
Janis
Ah… hello – I am Janis – what is your name – Fred, Fred, the milk & the honey – Domovoy’s love milk & honey – do you want something to eat – you must be hungry – here take this
{Griffinbeak looks at the milk & honey, then scoffs it down}
Fred, take a photo, I’m going to call a press conference for tomorrow evening – hah, the world laughed at me, the academy threw me out for my ‘wacky’ ideas – but look, I was right all along – my little brown Domovoy, you are going to make me famous –
Fred
& rich right
Janis
Yes, very
Fred
Good – hey domovoy boy, say ‘fairies existed all along’
Griffinbeak looks at the camera / Fred takes the photo on his phone with a flash
Scene 27
Crab Apple Cottage – James is sat at the table reading the newspaper – Enter Belinda
Belinda
Ah, Crab Apple Cottage on a sunny morning – the smell of fresh butter’d rolls wafting thro the house – there is no better place on earth to be –
James
Indeed, my love
Belinda
BELLA YOUR BREAKFAST IS READY
James
How are you this morning
Belinda
It’s so good to be you home – unreal, really
James
Yes, quite magical
Belinda
There is one thing, tho, James – I have noticed that thee fridge is not as well stocked as it should be
James
I know – it has all been a bit hard work on my own, darling – I’ve been playing mummy & daddy & working – yes, being a single parent is difficult, I’ll be honest
Enter Bella
Belinda
Well, I’m home now – ah she is – good morning, Bella, sleep well
Bella
It’s a bit early, isn’t it
James
There is no such thing as too early on an beautiful day, as soon as we’ve eaten & got dress’d we are going to do some fun family stuff to – it’s been too long
Belinda
I’ve got some hot rolls in the oven – would you like some eggs
Bella
Can I have some cereals first
Belinda
Sure – frosties, they’re still your favorite
Bella nods
James
There must be something in the air, Bella, all this witch stuff you & your mother have been on about
Bella
What do you mean
James
Well, it looks like someone in England has just captured one
Bella
Eh?
James
Yes, a Latvian scientist, actually, he is giving a press conference tomorrow morning, it looks like he’s going to revea his discovery to the world, look, here’s a photograph
Bella
Oh
Bimbletongue
{coming out of hiding}
True it is Bella
Bella
Bimbletongue
James
Bimblewhat
Bimbletongue
They’ve got Griffinbeak
Bella
I thought so
James
Bella, who are you talking too
Belinda
{bringing cereals}
You get used to it, James, there must be Brownies in the house
James
Brownies
Bella
Dad, shush – go on
Bimbletongue
Well, he must have got wounded at Stoneypath Tower, but we didn’t know, & then two of the big people took him away in one of those noisy metal wagons
Bella
What can we do
Bimbletongue
We have to help him
Bella
How
Bimbletongue
The Queen has had an idea
Bella
Go on
Bimbletongue
Your mummy & daddy are going to pretend Griffinbeak is their son
Bella
That sounds crazy – do you think it’ll work
Bumbletongue
The Queen seems to think it is the only chance
Belinda
What is the Brownie saying, darling
Bella
Mummy
Belinda
Yes
Bella
You know I love you
Belinda
Yes…
Bella
& you know how the Brownies helped me to rescue you
Belinda
O dear – Yes
Bella
Well, they now need our help now to rescue one of them
Belinda
Of course, but what do we need to do
Bella
{pointing to the newspaper}
We need to go there
Belinda
Where’s there?
James
Milton Keynes
Bella
If that’s where it is, that’s where it is, wherever Griffinbeak is, that’s where we need to go
Belinda
Do you realise how far away that is
James
Why do we need to go to Milton Keynes
Bella
Mum – we’ve got no choice, look, here we are playing happy families, while one of the Brownies who help’d put our family together is currently being held captive in Milton Keynes
Belinda
Alright, alright, darling, we’ll go
Bella
Great, I’ll go & get dress’d
Belinda
Have your breakfast fir— ah
James
Milton Keynes! the roundabouts down their are insane
Belinda
You book a hotel for us tonight – I’ll make up some lunches, alright
James
Yes, babe
Exit Belinda
James
Witches, Fairies, Brownies – Milton Keynes – ah, my word
Scene 28
The Peartree Lodge Hotel, Milton Keynes / there is a cage covered by a sheet / the press are gather’d / Enter Janis & Fred
Janis
Ladies & gentlemen of the press – members of the scientific community, I’d like to thank you all for coming at such short notice – my name is Janis Ivanauskas, & this is my assistant, Fred – ehm, so, I am Lithuanian, but I have lived in England for five years now – I am what you would call an investigator of what is known as the Land of the Fairies, or Fairyland – which, despite being once recognized all across the world, has, in the modern age, been reduced to the status of myth & fable
Fred
There was once a time, before the fields were claimed from the green forest that mantled the globe, before the roads & highways reached the remote corners of the earth, before the sleepy villages turned to sprawling cities, when the fairies were everywhere on Earth – however, with the relentless advancement of human progress, the regions where the fairies dwell have been push’d further & further away from the population centres, into the realms of unbelieving
Janis
The fairy dances have dwindl’d massively, & with that has arisen denial & disbelief as to the very existence of the Fairies themselves – however, I am very excited to have the honour & privilege, today, to be able to show the world an actual specimen of the Fairy Nation, Fred if you will
{Fred reveals Griffinbeak}
Ladies & gentlemen, this wonderful physical embodiment of Auric forces is what we call in my country Domovoy, in Germany it is a Kolbold, while here in Britain they are call’d Brownies
THIS IS A BROWNIE
I was walking alone when I saw them shining for me
Translucent as the clouds with the buzz of a bumblebee
Now I know they exist in their beautiful fairy brood
Sometimes they will appear for to soothe our solitude
Yes I know what I saw that morning
Yes I know what I saw that day
Yes I know what I saw that morning
Yes I’ll know what I saw always
You might find them up with the owls on the back of a tender breeze
Or hiding up in the hills & the bottoms of deep blue seas
You might find them under a bridge within the splash of a stream
Or where the water oozes thro the mossy banks apple green
Yes I know what I saw that morning
Yes I know what I saw that day
Yes I know what I saw that morning
Yes I’ll know what I saw always
Dopple-gangers, Centaurs, Silkies
Clabbernappers, Elves & Kelpies
Gally-Beggars, Boggles, Fauns
Lubberkins & Leprechauns,
Shellycoats, Sirens, Spectres
Bloody-Bones, Kitty-Witches
Gallytrots & Trolls & Scrats
& Imps & sylphs & sprites & sprats
I was walking alone when I saw them shining for me
Now I’ve one of my own, ladies & gentlemen
If you please fred
{Fred uncovers the cage}
This… is a Brownie
Enter Bella, James & Belinda
Belinda
That’s not a Brownie – that’s our son
Janis
What !?
James
Timothy – are you alright
Janis
What is this outrage – this is not a boy, it’s a Brownie
Belinda
This man is lying, our son does have a certain physcial condition, it is call’d, sicarisus sicatisus, its very rare
Bella
Can you let my brother out of this cage please
Fred
I don’t think so princess
Bella
Don’t call me princess, that’s my brother in there
James
Ladies & Gentlemen of the press – we understand that mistakes do happen, & our son does look unusual, but he is still our son, & if he isn’t releas’d at once we will call the police
Journalists begin to boo & call Janis out as a fraud – enter Hotel Manager with Gary
Hotel Manager
Mr Ivanauskas – I must ask you at once to release the child
Janis
No, no, no, this can’t be happening
Hotel Manager
There will be having no abductions of children at the Peartree Lodge hotel, thank you very much – you there, yes you, open this cage at once
Fred
Eh, but,
Hotel Manager
Just open the cage
Janis
Don’t do it Fred
Gary
Just give me the keys, please
Fred
Ooo – alright, alright – so demanding, yet so polite, & so broad – which gym do you use
Gary
Keys, now
Fred
{handing over the keys}
Alright, already
Janis
What are you doing Fred
Fred
I’m sorry, Janis, but its best not to make a scene
Gary opens the cage, passes Griffinbeak to Belinda
Bella
Griffinbeak
Hotel Manager
I thought you said he was call’d Timothy
Bella
Yes, eh, well, he is, that’s just his nick-name
James
Right, thank you very much everybody, it’s time we got this young man home
Janis
But, you cannot take just him away like that – this is my life’s work
Belinda
Perhaps it’s time you got a new job, & just let the little ones live in peace, yeah
James
Nice to meet you all – right, come on gang, lets get out of here
Bella
Bye
Exit Bella, Belinda, Griffinbeak & James
Janis
{tyring to follow but being held back by Gary}
I cannot believe this, that’s a Brownie not a boy
Journalist
I think you need to get your head check’d, Janis, you’re losing it mate
Janis
But I’m telling the truth
Journalist
Yeah, whatever
Exit Journalists
Scene 29
Crab Apple Cottage – Bella, James, Danglenose, Griffinbeak, Puddlefoot & Bimbletongue are sat at a table eating
James
So, let me get this straight, apart from Griffinbeak, who for some reason I can see, there are in fact three more Brownies sat at this table right now,
Bella
Yes, daddy, look at the way the soup in the bowls are going down
James
So, why can I see this one, & not those ones
Bella
Well, apparently he was coated with some kind of concoction which makes him temporarily visible
James
Ah
Danglenose
& Griffinbeak never washes
Griffinbeak
Oi
& so, what are the other one’s call’d, then
Well, you’re sat next to Puddelfoot, & here on my right is Bimbletongue, he’s the one who lives here
Ah
Enter Belinda carrying a tray of milk
Belinda
Right, here’s a round of milk for the Brownies – are they enjoying the soup
Brownies appreciate the soup
Bella
Yes, mum, they are
Belinda
Good
James
Well, this is all very nice isn’t it… me, you, Bella & the Brownies
Belinda
It certainly is, James, it certainly is – but remember, darling, this is a fairy tale & you are not allow’d to believe one word of it, even if it’s all true
The Conchordia Folio 