(Mad): Scenes 32-34

SCENE 31: A villa near San Antonio Ibiza

August 1987 / It is Paul oakenfold’s 24th birthday – he is having a pool party with Johnny Walker, Danny Rampling and Nicky Holloway & several bikini-clad ladies


Where is the pool party posse
Gotta make a cool pot of money
Topless with old pals
Es Figureral’s gone proper hot & sunny

Green cocktails full of fruit
Bikini beauties skimpy thongs n’all
Chop lines out on the floats
Straws & notes uphoovering them all

Lets suck on clementines
Between the lines we’ll smoke a joint or two
Cos in the summertime
There’s nothing else we’d like to do

We are the pool party team
Caught in a cool particle beam
Up by the cabaret
Its not ok
To rue what-a you dream
Splash-bashing volleyballs
As overall the sun shines on the scene
Were waking up wiv the light
Were making living all right

Where are the pool party people
Lets start the nude barbecue grill
Bouncing like kangaroos as buckaroos
Dance back into the pool
Cos with my the summer crew
There’s nothing else we’d like to do

Danny Rampling brings out a birthday cake

Danny Rampling
{with the others joining in}
Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday
To you, happy birthday dear Oakenfold
Happy Birthday to you – hip,hip, hooray
Hip-hip hooray, hip-hip hooray
Well blow all the fucking candles out then

Paul Oakenfold blows out the candles

Danny Rampling
Nice one Danny, thank you all for coming

Johnny Walker
Wouldn’t have missed it Paul, its ace out here

Nicky Holloway
Pretty flash & fancy having a pool

Danny Rampling
Its hash cake by the way, who wants a slice

Nicky Hollway
I’ll have one

Johnny Walker
Not for me, thanks

Paul Oakenfold
I’ll take one

Johnny Walker
This makes such a change from honk-honk London,
Rush & thunder under watery sun

Danny Rampling
I’m seeing it more of a study trip
Obviously its Oakey’s birthday do,
But my club & my sets are getting stale
I fancy inspiration in the sun
& grapevine something’s bubbling up
Upon this island, this phantom drug
That makes people dance all night to nonsense
Some proper cheezy numbers, I have heard
Sound apparently more than amzaing
When on this high, they call it ecstasy

Paul Oakenfold
I’ve order’d some

Johnny Walker
Have you

Paul Oakenfold
Yeah, Trevor Fung
Should be here any minute with his mate

Danny Rampling
Here you go Nicky

Nicky Holloway
Nice one

Danny Rampling
& yours Paul
I’ll just go & see if the girls want some

Johnny Walker
So what are we gonna do tonight then

Paul Oakenfold

Lets start by wandering around San An,
Go to the Cafe Del Mar, Es Paradis
& see what all the fuss is about, eh
Regarding this new-fangl’d ecstasy

Enter Trever Fung & Joe

Trevor Fung
Paul Oakenfold & Nicky Holloway
Johnny Walker & Danny Rampling, wow!
The crème de la crème of London’s dance scene
All set for the greatest nigth of their lives

Nicky Holloway
Trevor, how you doing pal

Trevor Fung
Sweet, man, sweet,
This is Joe, he’s the man with the goodies

Alright lads
I’ve heard you’ll be partaking this evening
Of these little chaffinches of joy

Paul Oakenfold
Yeah mate, how much

Well pesatas to pounds
Works out at twenty five quid

Nicky Holloway

Sorry, lads, that’s how much they cost

Johnny Walker
For fucks sake
We could get ten, fifteen drinks for that dough
& a taxi home

Paul Oakenfold
Guys its my birthday
Its pricey, yeah, but come on lets do it

Nicky Holloway
So whats this drug like, then, this ecstasy

Trevor Fung
Ah man, its like a rush of white lightning
Gone shooting up your spine, while backs of knees
To putty jellify, & then your hands
Are thrust into the skies, inhibitions
Haywire, ten foot tall & technicolour
& happiness, its there, inside us all!

We’ll be up at Amnesia later

Nicky Holloway
Whats that

Trevor Fung
Oh my god – its debauchery
A place to leave your worries far behind
A forgetting as so implies the name

But you have to fucking see it lads on E
That is ecstasy, e for ecstasy
No better name for a drug has there been
As if the world is making sense at last
Hearing the music of a single man
Alfredo’s a former candle-seller
Who got the club’s keys back in eighty-three
& ever since plays seven days a week
For seven months of summer

Trevor Fung
Believe us
Alfredo changes attitudes for sure
His gliiterball of grooves & alchemy
Begins with funky- hip-hop, Latin, pop,
Every sort of music and genres
Blending textures and music in a way
You could compare to a Miro painting,
Then as people start to fill up the farm
He picks it up with fast house and techno

Paul Oakenfold

Its miles from Ibiza’s naff English pubs
A farmhouse converted to a club
Its cheaper than town, a place sublime
Where Indian gurus & musicians
Mingle with supermodels just flown in
Where background & social class don’t matter
Habits notoriously libertine
Allow’d to flourish truly unrestrain’d

Trevor Fung
& the energy, guys, its just unreal
There’s hundreds of people feeding into
& off each other, even the straight ones

But the high one’s fucking hell!

Nicky Holloway
Alright then
Lets buy some of your fabl’d ecsasty

Honestly, just one will last you all night

Johnny Walker
A hundred fucking quid tho, for four pills
It means we’ll be eating bread rolls all week

Here you go, they’re dead good these, they’re call’d doves

Paul Oakenfold
Cheers man

Trevor Fung
Don’t lose them Oakey, make ‘em safe

Maybe see you tonight, it starts at three
Just follow your nose, you’ll find it no sweat

Trevor Fung
If I were you at drop those sweets at one
So when you step into Amnesia
Your first time, maximum euphoria
Will fill you with the meaning of it all
‘til then boys, enjoy the sunshine, & those…
{looking at the girls}

Paul Oakenfold
See you tonight mate

Trevor Fung
Happy Birthday Paul

Trevor & Paul hug

Paul Oakenfold
Nice to meet you Joe

You too boys, laters

Exit Joe & Trevor

Nicky Holloway
It looks like Danny’s pull’d

Johnny Walker
Her mates are hot

Nicky Holloway
Spot of, eh, pool volleyball anyone

Johnny Walker
Mixed doubles

Paul Oakenfold
I’ll go get the cervezas


Scene 33: Newcastle

Back stage at the venue the band James are getting ready for their gig

Saul Davies
Well, going on half-an-hour earlier
Should appease the promoters, support bands
Are support bands for a reason, the crowd
Are here to see us anyway, so yeah
Lets give them an extra half hour of songs

Larry Gott
Its still a ball ache tho

Jim Glennie
How hard is it
To get from A to B

Tim Booth
They are funny
Its like living in a Viz comic strip
Twenty-Four seven

The door bursts open – in pour the Happy Mondays & Derek Ryder

Paul Ryder
Lads, we’re so sorry

Gaz Whelan
We’ve still got time to pull off a set, yeah

Jim Glennie
Not tonight, no, we’re going on in five
Gonna play a longer set

Shaun Ryder
Ah, Jim, mate!
We fucked up royally

Larry Gott
So what happen’d

Paul Davies
{pointing at Derek}
Its his fault

Derek Ryder
Fuck off

Paul Ryder
But you were driving

Derek Ryder
Eh, you were in charge of the directions
I can’t do every little thing, can I
Dedicated with a capital d
That’s me, Derek Ryder, roadie, driver,
Sound engineer, father, tour manager
Hiring the van & paying the petrol
All you had to do Paul was read a map

Oi, Horse, leave it alone mate, yer dad’s sound

Paul Ryder
Bez, yer cunt, keep out of this, you’re not blood

That means I am free from gene discordance
& see things how they really are, Derek
Don’t deserve this pal

Paul Ryder
James don’t deserve this
We’re a fucking shambles thanks to my

Shaun Ryder
Paul, come on, leave it

Paul Davies
Want some do ya, Shaun
Come on then

The Ryder brothers square up / James look on in complete bewilderment

Paul Davies
Oi, Oi! , Paul, Shaun, leave it out

Saul Davies
So what actually happened today

Paul Davies
Well, after we play’d last night at the Ritz
Shaun went awol, this afternoon we spent
Three hours on his trail, then upon the drive
Up here Derek only crashes the van

Derek Ryder
Weren’t my fault he she came out of nowhere

Paul Davies
Either way, when we get to Newcastle
We start unloading the gear, & they’re like
What ya doing, here for the gig we said
Turns out it was Mick fucking Hucknall’s
Simply fucking Red

Jim Glennie

Larry Gott
You’ve missed yer slot

Saul Davies
We’re in Leeds tomorrow – don’t fuck it up

Tim Booth
Right lets get on stage – help yourself to beers

Jim Glennie
But don’t tank them all, yeah

Shaun Ryder
Legends lads

Gaz Whelan
It won’t happen again, we promise ya

Tim Booth
I’m sure it won’t

Derek Ryder
Good luck with your gig, lads
Them Geordies are sound, you’ll be reyt enough

Exit James

Shaun Ryder
That didn’t go as badly as I’d thought

Paul Ryder
Pass them beers around PD, they’re better
Than the shitty stubbies Derek gets us

Derek Ryder
Oh my god, son, can you shut the fuck up

Paul Ryder
Sorry dad, we fucking love ya really

Paul Davies
Who’s skinning up then

Mark Day
You do it yer lazy cunt

Paul Davies
Any weed

Mark Day
Here you go, I’ve got a bit left in there

I’ve a bit of speed

Shaun Ryder
Anyone fancy a DMT toot

Paul Ryder
I’ll have a blast, cheers

Gaz Whelan
That beers beautiful

Paul Davies
Anyone got any rizlas

Gaz Whelan
I’ve some

Paul Davies
& a fag as well

Gaz Whelan
Have you smoked all yours

Paul Davies
No you lot all did on the drive up here

Mark Day
Well we’re gonna need some more then innit
I’ll get em, I could do with some fresh air
Listening to you monkeys jibber on
Is confined spaces hours on end, my god

Shaun Ryder
You love us really

Mark Day
No I fucking don’t

Paul Ryder
Dad, give us a fag we need to skin up

SCENE 34: Amnesia nightclub, Ibizia

Amnesia is high walled, like being in a tropical garden. In the middle of the open air dancefloor was a mirrored pyramid, then around the edges were bars and chill out areas with cushions, and Mediterranean and tropical plants.

People are dancing in various states of undress, some are making love. DJ Alfredo is playing Starlight’s ‘Numero Uno.’ As the track ends in silence which is swiftly filled with the crowd screaming ‘Alfredo! Alfredo!’

Paul Oakenfold
This is the greates feeling in the world
I fucking love you & you , & you too

Danny Rampling
Group hug, group hug

Nicky Holloway
These tunes are magic man
Spreading thro’ this open-air nirvana
Where people mix in wild & weirdest hues
Pimian nectars in myrrhine vases
Abounding with jocular pleasantries
Tossing limbs in various attitudes
Or talking to each other

Johnny Walker
There’s no sexy women showing their bums,
The strumpets of the Summoenium
Remain in San Antonio, but here
Tis sexy & yet sexless the same time

Nicky Holloway
Transvestites, gays, I’m sure that’s Grace Jones, there

Paul Oakenfold
It is a revelation utterly
A melioration of existence
Everything’s spontaneous, different
Looks like Federico Fellini’s films;
Everyone’s dress’d up, look, there’s D’Artagnan
In high boots, its fucking cool

Danny Rampling
So are you
You’re cool, we’re cool, everything is just cool

Johnny Walker
Who wants a chuddy?

Nicky Holloway
I’ll have one please mate
I’m chewing my face off here

Danny Rampling
Man, he has the same record on each deck
& chops & changes stretching out the songs
That’s cool as

Nicky Holloway
I’ve never seen owt like it
Under the stars, in this warm summer air
Eyes lifted up to heaven’s lofty wheels
When he dropp’d that Cindy Lauper bombshell
My mind exploded with intuition
& everything went shooom! – & all the world
Felt right again, Cindy fucking Lauper
Then Thrashing Doves’ ‘Jesus on the Payroll’
& Elkin and Nelson’s ‘Jibaro’,
Proper tunes them all, then the Woodentops

Johnny Walker
Its like he’s got DJ superpowers

Paul Oakenfold
There’s certainty in this revolution
My eyes & ears have open’d been, & so
Aspire we must to join him the cause
& settle all the problems of this world
With dancing rituals, shift consciousness
Into the glades of global unity

Nicky Holloway
What do you mean

Paul Oakenfold
Take Balearic Beat
Back to Britain

Danny Rampling
Yeah man, it’ll be huge

Johnny Walker
I think you might be onto something there
Lets drag the stuporous to Ibiza
Or if not here lets recreate the vibes
In London town & then the fucking world


I’m not a scientist
I’m not a politician
I’m not a terrorist
But baby I’ve had a vision

All you people under heaven
Bring that Heaven down
Cos theres a brand new heaven that we’ve found

What ya gonna do, what ya gonna say
I’m feeling alright in every way
What ya gonna be, what ya gonna do
I’m feelin alright when I’m looking at you
What ya gonna say & what ya gonna be
I’m feeling alright when ya dancing with me

I’m not n exorcist
I’m not a party mission
I’m not an alchemist
But im damn sure something’s missing

All you people under heaven
Bring that Heaven down
Cos theres a brand new heaven that we’ve foundWhat ya gonna do, what ya gonna say
I’m feeling alright in every way
What ya gonna be, what ya gonna do
I’m feelin alright when I’m looking at you
What ya gonna say & what ya gonna be
I’m feeling alright when ya dancing with me

& the stars that shine
Never look the same without friends of mine
& where’s the sound
This warm summer air is wrapping around
Our golden souls

At the end of the song, just as the sun is coming up, Alfredo mixes in ‘I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For’ by U2 – everyone is smiling at one another and many people were hugging. The four lads are together holding hands in a euphoric state

Danny Rampling
I think we’ve found what we’ve been looking for

Nicky Holloway
Happy Birthday Paul

Johnny Walker
Best party ever

Paul Oakenfold
Let us not waste the fleeting gifts of Spring
A second summer of love awaits us
My boys, my friends, my brotherhood, my life
I fucking love the lot of you, come here

They embrace again



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