Category Archives: The Rock & Roll Apocalypse

THE ROCK & ROLL APOCALYPSE: Prologue – Scene 3


DRAMATIS PERSONAE

God

Ian Brown
Shaun Ryder

Archangel Gabriel
The Whore of Babylon

Jesus
Satan

The Soul Stars

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
War
Plague
Famine
Death

The Ghosts of Present, Past & Future

Elvis Presley

SONGS

BOLIVIA
TOMBSTONES
PSYCHEDELIA
JESUS COUNTRY HOME
TUMBLEWEED
BLUE STAR FIRE THUNDER
BABYLONIAN WAY
THE MAN & THE MUSIC
MOSES MOUNTAIN
MONKEY MESSIAH
WISDOM MINE
ATTITUDE
GROOVY SUPERNOVA
CLUB ARMAGEDDON
SHINY RIDERS
SOUL STARS

THE HEAVENLY UH-UH


PROLOGUE

Glastonbury, 1990 – Shaun Ryder & Kermit are hanging out taking drugs in the hold of the Happy Mondays tour bus

Kermit
What time you on?

Shaun Ryder
Dunno mate

Kermit
You don’t wanna have a look at the festival, then

Shaun Ryder
Fuck that – I aint going out there, Kermit, its mental

Kermit
It’s nice enough in here I suppose, a bit cramp’d like, but

Shaun Ryder
What’s that yer smoking

Kermit
Brother, this is the real deal, innit – proper Jamaican black

Shaun Ryder
Gizza draw

Kermit
Be careful with it, tho, its mixed with some really weird shit, man, its like having a nuclear war go off in yer head

Shaun Ryder
Sounds great
{takes the joint}
Cheers, nice one
{has a toot}
Wooah – what the fuck is that – Jesus Christ

Shaun Ryder passes out & begins to dream


SCENE 1

The world has been ripped apart by Nuclear War / Bolivia is the only country still untouched by the conflict / Enter God, flanked by the Archangel Gabriel & the Whore of Babylon / a chorus of angels

God
Hello
So, you wanna be a spaceman?
Blink once for yes, twice for no,
See, I told you so,
Friends feel the freedom, feel the flow
My one almighty funk-ass show
Ye painters, poets, know-it-alls
Club Armageddon Country Calls
From Casablanca to Ceylon
The cities fallen one-by-one
Plenty of worms & pachyderms
Were sinful, cutting short their terms
I’ve slain them by acidic rains
Now but one single place remains
Untouched by battles nuclear
The high lands of Bolivia

BOLIVIA

God
Heaven wonders who you are
Are you a bum or a superstar
Man can only go so far
Drop the bomb on Bolivia
Build a cave in a mountainside
Watch the planets slip & slide
Let the heavens be your guide
When they drop the bomb on Bolivia
Woe for Bolivia

Chorus
All the little people gonna take it away
Have faded away now, hear now, hear now
All the pretty people wanna take it away
Are faded away now, hear now, hear now

Chorus
Ooomcha, oomcha, oomcha, oomcha
Aaaaahh
Ooomcha, oomcha, oomcha, oomcha
Aayyyy
Jubiltah, Jubilate
Jubiltah, Jubilate

God
See the sunrise in your mind
Ultraviolet shines behind
Stare too long you might go blind
Drop the bomb on Bolivia
Take a walk thro’ a waterfall
Let the music heal your soul
Raise your glasses for them all
When they drop the bomb on Bolivia
Woeful oblivion

Chorus
All the little people gonna take it away
Have faded away now, hear now, hear now
All the crazy people wanna take it away
Are faded away now, hear now, hear now

Whore of Babylon
{ Ooomcha, oomcha, oomcha, oomcha…}
There’s a Jester’s Garden somewhere
In the wicked wizard wood
& in my lizard chamber
There’s a charlatan in danger
No-one knows where to run
From the big nuclear sun
Valhalla for vagrants
It’s taken us ages to find
The marvellous mellow one
Lo Dios en el Cielo
Marvellous mellow one

Whore of Babylon
No-one knows where she from

Archangel Gabriel
& the tasars set to stun

Whore of Babylon
They got a lazar

Whore of Babylon
A magic phase

Archangel Gabriel
It will amaze ya, blaze ya

Whore of Babylon & Archangel Gabriel
Fire blue
oo-oo-oo…

Archangel Gabriel
There’s a flame that burns for everyone
In the sun that shines so brightly
Lady Moon who I see nightly
Says it’s the Marvellous Mellow One
It’s gonna blow ya to kingdom come

Archangel Gabriel
It’s the Marvellous Mellow

Whore of Babylon
Oo! what a fellow

God
Lo Dios en el Cielo

Marvellous Mellow One

Whore of Babylon & Archangel Gabriel
The Marvellous Mellow one

Bolivia is destroyed by a nuclear explosion


SCENE 2

Ian Brown is wandering through the smoke, flames & wreckage of a post nuclear blast train disaster – the chorus are bodies

TOMBSTONES

Ian Brown
Well, I remember I was riding my train
When we sent flying by this hurricane
All those wicked winds they twisted the tracks
We had a sense of lying flat on our backs, but I say
No tombstones no, I’m alive…

There are so many tombstones, well who were you
Did people tell ya what to do
Were you the captain of your crew
Or just a hermit with a view
Speaking lies or seeking truth
So many people me & you

Chorus comes alive

Chorus
So many, so many, so many, so many people
So many people

Chorus returns to inanimate corpses

Ian Brown
Well, I was ridin’ on & rootin’ on my country,
They got a good hidin’ off, good shootin’ off the enemy
We must-a used sling shots, man, & they used guns
Cos they slaughter’d all of us, yeah,
But see I’m still around to sing
No tombstones, no, I’m alive…

There were so many people you & I’m
The only one who did not die
All the tears that I must cry
Don’t got time to reason why
These things happen as they do
So many people me & you

Chorus comes alive

Chorus
So many, so many, so many, so many people
So many people

Life’s so rich, life’s so rare
Then life’s a bitch & she doesn’t care
This life o’ mine,
She keeps on changing from time to time
Now I’m gonna leave all my past behind

Chorus returns to inanimate corpses


SCENE 3

Shaun Ryder is wandering the deserts of New Mexico – he is trying to tune his transistor radio in

PSYCHEDELIA

Shaun Ryder
I’m gonna have a little dabble with Nostradamus special powder
There’s nuthin but crackling battle rattlin’ on my radio
Gonna write a little poetry poppin’ peyote in the morning
Let the Ayahuasca magic master me

Enter the Ghosts of Present, Past & Future

I can see those super-hallucinations
Coming on down the line
I can see they’re the ghosts of many people
Stuck in the stones of time
Time, times’ no friend of mine
It’s about time that we did away with the old songs
Show me the shepherds’ sign

You can take it on your own psychedelia
But you might not make it home…. tonight

I’m gonna have a little dabble with Nostradamus Special Powder
Thro crystals clear the seer clears away the clouds
I’m gonna dabble with a piece just a nibble & release the maze of future
From past-lives flashes last true mystery

I reveal there’s a pre-fab new religion
Stuck in the standing stones
Stuck in the standing
Stones, stones rattle my bones
It’s about time that we did away with the old gods
Sat on their gun-running thrones

You can take it on your own psychedelia
But you might not make it home…. tonight

I’m gonna free my soul
I’m gonna free my soul
I said I’m gonna sell my soul
& play rock n roll ‘til I die

You can take it on your own psychedelia
But you might not make it home…. tonight

I’m gonna sell my soul
Cos it sure gonna make things better
Gonna play that rock n roll
I’m gonna bring it all together
Ai-ai-ai-iyi-ai-ai

Shaun Ryder finds a car & drives away


(R&RA): Scenes 4-6


SCENE 4

Jesus waits at a crossroads – enter Ian Brown

JESUS COUNTRY HOME

Ian Brown
I met this man by the side of the road
He said

Jesus
Ya goin nowhere of no fixed abode no no
Well see me mister, I’m the star of this show
& I know a funky little place where we can go,”

Enter sexy women

Ian Brown
He led me down thro forests of azure
Past crowds of women asking ‘what was my pleasure?’
We walk’d for miles, thro the sunshine & snow
On to that funky little place where we can go
{Exit sexy women}
I follow’d that man to Jesus Country Home…

Jesus
Son the time for you has grown
See the Devil left his throne,
& I need a saint to sing my song
In the Armageddon dome
Cos, ya one o’ Shivas own
Take a step into the unknown
You’ll never love your life so much
In the Jesus Country Home

They enter the Jesus Country Home / Gabriel is there

Ian Brown
I nearly died when I walk’d thro that door
Moon on the ceiling & a face on the floor
I met an angel, but she didn’t have no wings,
He said

Gabriel
I dont need ’em no more cos I’ve found everything

Ian Brown
She made the room beam thro’ the moon on the ceiling
Sang magic music, O lord what a feeling
He climbed a cross & he spoke from within
& said

Jesus
Welcome my son you’re forgiven of your sins

Ian Brown
I follow’d that man to Jesus Country Home…

Jesus
Son the time for you has grown
See the Devil left his throne,
& I need a saint to sing this song
In the Armageddon dome
Cos, ya one o’ Shivas own
Take a step into the unknown
You’ll never love your life so much
In the Jesus Country Home

Jesus & Gabriel
Home is where ya heart is, home is where ya soul lies
Singing with the soul-stars of the rainbow sun-tribe ….

Ian Brown
Hey man ye are no effigy
This is so whack & wild

Jesus
Please don’t turn your back on me
You are the chosen child
Who must step up now to the race
Seek bandmates of your own
& then I’ll save place for you
In my Jesus Country, Jesus Country Home


SCENE 5

Shaun Ryder is driving thro’ the deserts of New Mexico

TUMBLEWEED

Im a rogue, Im a rogue, on the road to nowhere,
Cruisin’ along as the wind blew thro’ my hair,
Head down the highway, south of the sunset,
Only got half of a tank left to get me to Mexico
Nuthin’ but crackle rattlin’ on my radio

When on the horizon’s a black silhouette,
Of a super stylish, fifty-five corvette,
As I drew nearer, this woman leapt out,
Wavin’ her arms & hysterically shoutin’, to stop for heaven’s sake,
So, I pressed the peddle to the metal and I slamm’d my foot down on the brake,

I screeeched to a halt & I wound down mi window
She leapt to the car like the star of a freak show
& spoke in a language that I didn’t understand
So, I slipped on my boots I stept out & crushed stones into sand
Just as this wild & psychedelic breeze blew right cross the land
& they blew out of my hands those rollin,’ rumblin’

Tumble weed, no we don`t tumble,
Watch the walls of wonder crumble
Devil chile, she make me humble

Well Im no believer, but it did me no good,
The dashboard was shatter’d & splatter’d with crimson
She made a strange sound like a witch out of bedlam
& dragged me down to a ditch by a dead mans eye
From a gun wound to the stomach it takes a man three days to die

The wide open tracts of the vasty desert seas
& the cacti flew in the pyschedelic breeze
I`m outta my mind ion the wildest peyote
The only sound was the cries of coyote a crying
As high up above me, those hungry vultures were flying
They roll’d into my soul those holy, hum-b-lin’

Tumble weed, no we don`t tumble,
Watch the walls of wonder crumble
Devil chile, she make me humble

Enter the Whore of Babylon, holding a pen & paper

Whore of Babylon
Shaun William Ryder is that you

Who the fuck are you

Whore of Babylon
I am the Whore of Babylon
& you are

Shaun Ryder
Shaun Ry-

Whore of Babylon
Dying, you are dying

I know, its fucking painful
If this is about the three grand I owe Fast Eddie

Whore of Babylon
It’s not … I’m here to save your life

Shaun Ryder
What?

Whore of Babylon
Your life, the one I work for bids it so

Go on then, save my life, I’m bleeding out here

Whore of Babylon
It will be saved, but first you will have to sign this contract

Yeah, right, whatever, I’ll sign anything – giz that pen… so what is it anyway

Whore of Babylon
The price

What

Whore of Babylon
Of saving your life… is your soul

Shaun Ryder
My soul

Whore of Babylon
Yes

Yeah, whatever, take it, I’m not ready to die just yet, especially in some fuckin’ ditch in New friggin’ Mexico – gimme that form
{signing his soul away}
It’s just like being on the dole this…
Woah – I feel better already

Whore of Babylon
Good – now if you read the small-print on your contract, you will see there are certain conditions to remaining alive

Like what

Whore of Babylon
You will need to be the singer in a band

Well, that’s easy, that’s what I do – well, what I used to do until all my bandmates died in that recent nuclear fuckin’ holocaust

Whore of Babylon
We are glad you that are happy to join us – so, dust yourself down & come with me, I am going to take you on a journey

Shaun Ryder
Where too

Whore of Babylon
Shaun William Ryder, we are going to the abysmal place, where shrieking sinners wail for second death

Shaun Ryder
What, Stockport

Whore of Babylon
No, Hell !

A gate suddenly appears beside them, over which a sign reads;

THRO’ ME THE WAY INTO THE WOEFUL CITY
THRO’ ME THE WAY TO THE ETERNAL PAIN
THRO’ ME THE WAY AMONG THE LOST PEOPLE
ABANDON ALL HOPE THOSE THAT ENTER HERE

Whore of Babylon
Let us descend into the blind world down there

Shaun Ryder & the Whore of Babylon enter Hell


SCENE 6

Ian Brown has climb’d to the top of a mountain with Gabriel & Jesus

Ian Brown
What is this place we come to shining

Gabriel
This is the highest point on planet Earth

Jesus
& so the closest to the stars
Where spools my Father’s workshop,
Where he makes his cool guitars

Gabriel
& look, young Ian, he leaves you yours

Ian Brown picks up guitar

Jesus
Now hurry to the promised land
& when you form your own love band
Go to the beach & take this pill
Then let your destiny fulfil

Ian Brown
My destiny, are you insane?

Jesus
Man’s fate is not mine to ordain

Gabriel
Now we must leave this mortal plane

Ian Brown
I deep beseech thee, please don’t go

Jesus
Your fate not yours or mine to know

Gabriel
God wills it all, on with the show

Ian Brown
A God, can there be such a thing
When I have seen such suffering
& billions have pass’d away
On nucleonic judgement day

Lightning strikes

God
Silence & hear, my troubadour
Omniscient divinity
Bare witness to this shock & awe
& tell me what thy soul doth see

BLUE STAR FIRE THUNDER

Ian Brown
I see the lightning in mine eyes, it’s time to shine electric blue,
There is a stormblast in my soul, the thunders roll & as they do
I sit & phantasize, the morning skies are fill’d with wonder
& as the lightning strikes mine eyes they shine like a

All
Blue Star Fire Thunder
Is gonna make me shine, shine a light on you until tomorrow…

Jesus
There’s a man on a mission, one in a millon,
He’s gonna sail the seas o’ loneliness,
Gonna follow a vision, make a decision,
gonna flower the frozen wilderness,
Like a prophet o’ David he’ll climb the starry mountain,
His eyes are fill’d with wonder,
& the Pegasi fly high above yer

All
Blue Star Fire Thunder
Is gonna make me shine, shine a light on you until tomorrow…

Jesus & Gabriel
Now as ya heart skips over a rainbow
& the panorama melts in your eyes
Because the Pegasi that we are riding
They all rise into Xanadu skies

Jesus
There’s the secret I’m keeping I promise ter tell yer,
I’ll tell yer the secret I’m keeping,

Ian Brown
There’s a secret he’s keepin’ he promised to tell me,
He told me the secret he’s keeping,

Jesus
Ya’d better believe it we’ll take the mystic waters of this fountain
& when yer believe me we’ll make a pilgrimage
As the

All
Azure Crystal Mountains
Of Xanadu shine electric blue
star fiya thunder is gonna make me shine shine a light on
Ya azure crystal mountains of Xanadu shine electric blue… all over you
Thro’ the misty morning blue

As you break along thro life

Ian Brown
My life’s prophecy
Is to walk thro the gardens of the promised land
Mother Mary immaculatum guiding me by my hand
Til we reach the beach and the gold & the silver & the stones and the starry shores at the end of tim

Gabriel
As yer break a long thro’ life yer gotta make things go & take it easy…

Jesus
As ya heart skips over a rainbow
& the panorama melts in your eyes
Because the Pegasi that we are riding
They all rise into Xanadu skies

(R&RA): Scene 7


SCENE 7

Shaun Ryder & the Whore of Babylon are travelling tho Hell; there are sounds of clapping hands, screams of anguish, haunted sighs, lamentations, loud wailing, strange tongues, moans of terror, groans of pain

BABYLONIAN WAY

Whore of Babylon
Way down deep in Babylonian way
There’s a man named Alister Crowley
All he was misunderstood
& Hitler was the geezer
A gateway to the underworld
He signed his soul away in Jewish blood

Have you heard the word
Of the madman’s bad intention
Have ya heard the absurd word
Of the men to bad to mention
Did they come in your dimension
Did I mention my dementia

Ghengiz Khan never meant no harm
He was a mongel man directed
By beings form the nether realm
His essence intercepted
& Torquemada was the leader
Of the Spanish inquisition
& in the name of God he burnt them all
Til the witches & the warlocks won his soul

Have you heard the word
Of the madman’s bad intention
Heard the absurd word
Of the men to bad to mention
Did they come in your dimension
Did I mention his pretensions

Enter Satan

Well, I went up to Northern Ireland,
Met the Captain of the IRA,
I said, “Look here son, yer better take this gun, better blow those Brits away.
Well, the Brits dropp’d the bomb on Belgrade,
But Slobodan he would not go,
So, the Yanks sent the tanks & the banks took the flanks,
Now they’re all as dead as a Dando,
When you go to war, you’d better find a cause worth fighting for.

Well, I met old Vercingetorix as he took on
The mighty hordes of Ceaser,
But the battle was fixed ‘cos the Gaul’s rain-sticks
Didn’t work on the field of Alesia
Then, I had me a line o’ Charlie as we flew up to Inverness,
Where the Bonnie Prince & his men got minced
Now the moor is a bloody mess,
When you go to war, you’d better find a cause worth fighting for.
What are we fighting for
Were fighting for our future
The future of our planet
At the Armageddon dome

Shaun Ryder
I met the star of the morning
At his capital in Hades
He said

Satan
Look here son
I bet ya glad ya come
Here’s your coke, here’s ya bass here’s ya ladies

Jezebels
When yo go to war
You’d better find a cause
Worth fighting for

Satan
What are we fighting for
We’re fighting for our future
The future of the planet
At the Armageddon dome

& the time is now & I’ll tell you somehow
We can make this world a better place
Gui-tars, drumkit, vocals & bass
We’ll make this world a better place
if we try (rpt.)

Enter the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse


THE MAN & THE MUSIC

Four Riders
We’re the advertised, low-down motherfuckin’ band
We heard for the hoedown ya needin a hand
Got mountains of vinyl lyin’ at home
Band full of ravers stoned to the bone
Stoned to the bone

& I say
Hey pretty ladies don’t you look so fine
Gonna make ya mine
Gonna play a little pussy chord
When they say he’s got all the best tunes, it true
I know that ya like, it I’m liking it to
The man & the music coo-coo-cachoo

If ya can use it, just don’t refuse it
This wonderful music

Were gonna have a party & a party
Celebrate the union of woman & man
Gonna do it do it like a minstrel
Doing the best we possibly can
Cos its Babababagorath
{goin’ round in circles}
Bababagorath
{king of the serpents}
Do wop & do do ya best to serve us
Fine & regal style & splendour

Well we heard
Someone calling for the mother fuckin calvalry
So the midnight band are gonna play for free
We’ve been hit with the final license to roam
Dangerous daylight starting to dawn
When stoned to the bone

Hey pretty ladies don’t you look so fine
Gonna make ya mine
Gonna play a little pussy chord
When they say he’s got all the best tunes, it true
I know that ya like, it I’m liking it to
The man & the music coo-coo-cachoo

If ya gon choose it, just don’t abuse it
This wonderful music

Were gonna have a party & a party…

Were gonna have a party & a party
Celebrate the union of woman & man
Gonna do it do it like a minstrel
Doing the best we can
Cos its Babababagorath
{goin’ round in circles}
Bababagorath
{king of the serpents}
Do wop & do do ya best to serve us
Fine & regal style & splendour

We’re gonna have a party & a party
We’re gonna get it properly started
& we’ll invite the pieces to the party
& then we’ll get the company charterd
& we’ll invite the piss’d & the arty
& then we’ll get the company charterd

Shaun
Babababa fucking Gorath – what the fucks all that about

Satan
Just one of my names, boy – but you can call me… Bez

Shaun
Bez !

Satan
In Kentucky I’m the A-train
In Atlanta call me sugar cane
In Memphis I’m known as Slim
In West Texas I’m a mandhandler
& a cool panhandler
In Detroit they call me hip Kitty from New York city
& out of the States all my jivehoof mates
Call me the Beast
I’m mad & bad & you ought to be glad you aren’t trying to clip me because my thinkpad would tip me to the knockout play which might make me take it in the wrong way – dig

Shaun
Have you been on the DMT, you’re proper babbling, pal

Satan
Enough of the formal warm-ups
Welcome to my home, my pile of stone, bro
I’m mellow as a cello, fine as red wine
I dig your pegs, they make you look
Like Robin Hood in Harlem

Shaun
Eh

Satan
I heard yer gumbeat’s on the backbeat
& with my lushpad on a three pointer
I digs the play
So, are you home boy or a perfect square
Well, if you’re mellow, baby, understand
I’m the accelerator
Putting down a righteous shpiel

Shaun
What the fuck are you on about mate

Shaun
Pops I’m tops
I’m with it & I won’t quit it
I’m down with action to my own satisfaction
Do you dig

Shaun
No, I don’t fuckin’ dig

Whore of Babylon
What he’s trying to say is, this is your band

Shaun
My band ?

Satan
Indeeddiddlydo!
Cop a trot to the dommy of that solid little banter
Cos these other cats are swinging the bears, brother

Shaun
Alright lads, I’m Shaun Ryder, what are your names, &, ehm, whaddaya play

War
I am War, I am on drums

Plague
I am Plague, I play the bass

Famine
I am Famine, I play the gee-tah

Death
I am Death, I play… the tuba

Shaun
The fucking Tuba

Death
I can play the French Horn, too

Shaun Ryder
Yeah, whatever

Satan
Solid, ole man, solid
They don’t need no snitchin in the hype
& you’re as groovy as a ten cent movie
You’ll just be in time at a quarter past nine
& if you’re right your bright, so
Let’s flail & wail on Bez’s mighty mez
{getting out a massive reefer}
Let’s snip a paper dolly at the rolltop piano
& ad lib, all thro the crib, ya dig

Shaun
I dig

Whore of Babylon
Aha – you are beginning to understand the language of the Master

Shaun
Well, he’s speaking my language now, innee

Satan
{Passing the spliff to Shaun}
If I’s a-mugglin’, you’s a-mugglin’

Shaun
Woah – that’s the best stuff I’ve ever fucking had

Whore of Babylon
Well, this is Hell after all – everyone knows the Devil has the best tune, but that’s mainly down to the fact he’s got the best drugs toos

Satan
Hey reefer man
Spread the stick of tea
To the vipers in the toot-suits
Ya hogging the joy brother

Shaun
Sorry

Satan
Up there, above this house of many slammers
The way your jive was dropping,
Slicing chops, was hopping
That’s why ya gonna tweet my songs little birdie
You’ll be on the scene, wearin’ the green
& knock them out without a doubt
Let’s slay that skull, Jesus, & his Johns
All jacking the gong, lets get out west in our vest
& take them all to a cold meat party, ya dig

Shaun
I dig, bro

Satan
Good, well it’s time to flit from the pit
& spin this shit
Let’s hoochie coochie people

Exit all being led by Satan to some funky grooves

(R&RA): Scenes 8


SCENE 8

A few survivors are milling about a deserted village

MOSES MOUNTAIN

Soul Stars
Messiah rolled into town, a-rolling & a strolling
He held his head up high He held his head up high
& his eyes were filled with meaning & his eyes were filled with meaning
From the mystic light they shine

Ian Brown
Everybody needs a Moses Mountain High on a mountain side
Everybody needs a Moses Mountain High on a mountainside
There’s a place a happy place where I shall be your guide
Everybody needs a moses mountain High on a mountain side

Soul Stars
Messiah rolled into town, a rolling & a strolling
He says he’s come to lead us (Yes he says he’s come to lead us)
But his eyes are very devious (Yes, his eyes are very devious)
& he aint no light of mine

Ian Brown
Everybody needs ten stone tablets I have brung ‘em down
Everybody needs ten stone tablets I have brung ‘em down
There’s a song on every one See you gather round
Everybody needs ten stone tablets I have brung ‘em down

Soul Stars
Messiah rolled into town, a rolling & a strolling
With a songbook in his hands (There’s a songbook in his hands)
But the words they have no meaning (Yes, the words they have no meaning)
Gather round & stone him blind… So pretentious in the sacred light he shines

MONKEY MESSIAH

Soul Stars
Stone him, stone him, stone him blind

Ian Brown
Every time you throw those stones
God gave me a sign
Got the feelin’ in my bones
Wont ya walk with ya hand in mine

Soul Stars
Stone him, stone him, stone him blind

Ian Brown
In the early morning by the holy well of souls
I look at you & all your friends
& I dug a thousand holes
I’m gonna whizz some wisdom at ya
& I hope ya take due care
Contemplate the future son
I’m gonna help ya to prepare

[Stone Him, Stone Him, Stone Him Blind]
Because every time you throw those stones
God gave me a sign
Got the feelin in my bones
Wont ya walk with ya hand in mine

[Stone him, stone him, stone him blind]
Every time you throw those stones
God gave me a sign
Got the feelin’ in my bones
Wont ya walk with ya hand in mine

Soul Stars
Domino, domino effect, domino effect breaking on my soul
[Domino, domino effect, domino effect breaking on my soul]
Stone him, stone him, stone him blind
No love him, love him, I’ve seen the sign
Stone him, stone him, stone him blind
No love him, love him, the stars aline
Stone him, stone him, stone him blind
No love him, love him, he is divine
Stone him, stone him, stone him blind
No love him, love him, his hands in mine

Ian Brown
I’m on a pilgrimage to the New Jerusalem
My feet are blistered but I’m not broken
I’m on a pilgrimage to the new Jerusalem
Hey brothers & sisters, we’re the chosen children

Soul Stars
We’re on a pilgrimage to the New Jerusalem
His feet are blistered but he’s not broken
We’re’ on a pilgrimage to the new Jerusalem
Hey brothers & sisters, we’re the chosen children

Ian Brown & Soul Stars
IB: Feel me, heal me
SS: Yes, yes, I guess you’re a friend of ours
IB: Feed me, need me
SS: Yes, yes I guess you’re a friend of ours
IB: Believe me, receive me
SS: Yes, yes, I guess you’re a friend of ours

IB: Let’s honky tonk
Let’s set the soul on fire
Let’s do the funk
SS: We are the monkey messiahs
IB: Let’s romper stomp
Feel like Sri Lankan Lion
Pump up the pomp

Soul Stars
(g)
We are the monkeys from
(fsharp)
Weve come to take you home
(f)
We are the monkeys from
(e)
zion…….

(g)
We are the monkeys from
(fsharp)
Weve come to sing this song
(f)
We are the monkeys from
(e)
zion…….

Ian Brown
Vibe, vibe feel the vibe (rpt)
Let the love up fill inside
Shoot the arrows thro your pride
Jesus Christ is by your side
By your side
Come feel him by your side
Yes, yes, he’s by your side

Enter Jesus who receives everyone’s praise & adulation

WISDOM MINE

Let me tell you all the secrets that the prophet told
I’ll sell ’em for forty pieces of silver & a dusky handful of gold
I sat beneath the tree of knowledge all those cosmic days
A guiding light shone down on me & helped me on my ways

So, hear me now
I’m coming home now
To see you shine
I’m coming home now
Now the wisdom’s mine
There’s a girl who’s seen the light
smiling at the sun
tell me when your wisdom has begun

Gather round ye people while I sing about my travels
Take a soft seat on the stony beach whilst the future gets unravelled
Each pebble that we rest upon can teach us of its meaning
Our bodies all warp spasm & our minds are lost in dreaming

Hear me now
I’m coming home now
to see you shine
I’m coming home now
Now the wisdom’s mine
There’s a girl all starry eyed
shining like a sun
tell me when your freedom has begun
Cos I’m talking about your freedom

I’m coming home now
There’s a girl who’s seen the boy
standing like a sun
tell me when your freedom has begun
Cos I’m talking about your freedom
over morning forming o the shores of time
It’s the crowning glory of the wisdom mine
freedom

Enter Satan, Shaun Ryder, the Whore of Babylon & the Four Riders

ATTITUDE

So youre the shiny riders
Aint that a shame
We thought we’d get the guys
To give us a game
You got no lyrics
Ya sure can croon
Let’s call the medics
To funk up your tunes
Bring it on

So you’re the soul stars are ya
Well coo-coo-choo
Aint got no stardust
In your pirate crew
& all ya lyrics
They’re so tweedledum
& where the fuck d’ya get yer singer from
Bring it on

We’re gonna roll all over you
Is that the best that you can do
Whose got the better attitude

Attitude, attitude, cool, cool
[attitude] You dont need attitude
When ya got ya soul in the music
Come on

We’re gonna roll all over you
Is that the best that you can do
Whose got the better attitude

We are the soul stars & we
Feel heavenly
We got the music got the melody
(We’re gonna) Find the vibe & bring it
Rainbow tribe’ll sing it
Soon all the people gonna know our name
so come on

We are the shiny riders
We’re here to win
& the fire inside us
Bright burnin
(We’re gonna) Find a song & sing it
Ride the vibe & wing it
Soon all the people gonna feel our flame
So come on

We’re gonna roll all over you
Is that the best that you can do
Whose got the better attitude

We’ll throw you back from whence you came
Your style’s atrocious, hence you shame
You’ll never match us in the game

Attitude, attitude, cool, cool
[attitude] You dont need attitude
When ya put your pulse to the music
Come on

I’m taking poetry to the places where its never been before
I’m taking liberties like some pissed up conquistador
Lets call it symmetry with you & me banging heads for the war
I’ll take my music to the movies gonna win me the palme d’or
& yeah… Yeah yeah you know the score

The two bands begin hand-to-hand combat / God descends in a spaceship

GOD
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah
Chill it cats… hey boys, yes you, you there, Ian Brown, Shaun Ryder
I’m God, & I’m the ho-chi minh city round here, ya dig
This is not the time nor the place for fighting
Gotta save those vibes for the battle tonight
In my Armageddon Dome, in the centre of the solar eye,
Where you’ll be competing for the soul of the Human Race
Good, or evil, the best band of banjobangers will decide
According to the word from the herd, ya dig
So, gentle cats & acrobats, thy chariot awaits
For you & all your home boys – & girls
So come on, come on, let’s do this thing

GROOVY SUPERNOVA

Come & take a ride in my funky little spaceship
Move on, groove on, you gotta keep on keeping on
The last man alive slam your foot on the hyperdrive
I’ve set controls for the centre of the sun
Move it on over,
Yeah move it on over,
My groovy supernovas gonna glow

Come on round you weary people
& close your eyes
Going down to the deep subconscious
To see the sunrise
& when we get there only god knows where we’ll be
Tripping home on the light fantastic
Skipping stone the sea

& it aint easy, being Him on High
When you let the new ones
Let the old ones die

Aphrodite, the goddess of love’ll
Use sex against yer nature
& Venus, she’s a no-go queen
Ya gonna have to take her
Thor’ll help us make good war
With the demons of our past
& the new man’ll find new land
To find himself at last

Move it all over
Yeah move it on over,
This groovy supernovas gonna grow

Well come on round you weary people
I prophesize
When we get to where we’re going to
You’ll find a surprise
There’ll be a self you’ll see
Quite deja vu familiar
& when you see its face you place as
Something similar to your own
I’m going home
On a funky little spaceship
To where the new ones left the old ones on their own

& it aint easy, saying I told you so
When you let the new ones
Let the old ones go

Move it all over
Yeah move it on over, this groovy supernovas gonna blow

& it aint easy….
When the wind blows low &
This tripped-out Egg Man falls
& the shell doth break & the love you make
To yourself will damn your spirit after all
& it aint easy being Him on High when you’re all so small

(R&RA): Scene 9- Epilogue


SCENE 9

Club Armageddon is being held at the centre of the sun X-Factor style

CLUB ARMAGEDDON

God, Gabriel, Whore of Babylon
Ladies & gentlemen
have we got a show for you
Down at the Armageddon dome,
& this is what we do

Gabriel,
We got the pimp-ass Shiny Riders

Whore of Babylon
& the rinky-dinky Soul Stars

God
But don’t forget to buy a drink
From one of our slinky bars

From polyphonic prostitutes
To pastors in their plastic suits
Fellow hearts in mellow places
Come on in & celebrate us
To the hotline of our peers
Take a seat & lend your ears
Blow the fever of your fears away

God
It’s the Battle of the Millennium
The world’s most fearless show
There’s a cloud of lethal radium
& which way will it blow

Whore of Babylon
Will it linger on the planet

Gabriel
& make a demon race

God
Or will it blow right out o there
& vanish without a trace

Succulent as fresh tomatoes
Young rent boys & old castratos
Devil nuns & Benedictines
Come on in with all the piss’d teens
Take your seat among the crowd
Prepare for deep songs fast & loud
To blow the bullshit from your fears today

God,Gabriel, Whore of Babylon
Ladies & gentlemen
Have we got a show for you
Come down to the Armageddon dome,
& this is what we do

Gabriel
First up is the Shiny Riders

Whore of Babylon
Then the rinky-dinky Soul Stars

God
& dont forget to buy a drink
From one of our slinky bars

Gabriel, Whore of Babylon
No, dont forget to buy a drink
From one of our slinky bars

God
Ladies & gentlemen, the Shiny Riders

Enter the Shiny Riders

SHINY RIDER

Every man and woman is a shiny rider
Every man and woman psychejelly spider
Every man and woman is a star says black sun
Every man and woman little particle fractal
Every man and woman grab a piece of the action
Every man and woman is a chain reaction

Shiny Rider x4
Shiny Rider gonna slip inside yer mind
now you know you gotta go
Shine on yer lover x 3

Well blow my soul away
Every time I sit to see you shine

Every man and woman got the invitation
Every man and woman its a celebration
Every man and woman offer peace opinion
Every man and woman is a slinky ninja
Every man and woman got the rider in ya

Shiny Rider x4
Shiny Rider gonna slip inside yer mind
now you know you gotta go
Shine on yer lover x 3

Ya shit hot anyway
Every time I stop to see ya shine

Exit the Shiny Riders

God
A big round of caterwaulin’ applauding for the pimp-ass Shiny Rider boys, thank you very much, that performance was as pristeen as my mind – now we’ve got a real treat for ya’ll now – ladies & gentlemen – the Soul Stars

Enter the Soul Stars

SOUL STAR

Now’s the time to make a change, throw your souls into the air,
Way up there they shine like diamonds & they’re made up like the moon
& they sparkle thro’ the gloom with effervescent glory,
I’m gonna find out for myself, you’d better find out for yourself…

See the souls become the stars, Venus Mercury & Mars
Cannot stop this spatial streamin’ with the wizard ship in tow,
Kinda crazy geezer knows that the effervescent glory
Is gonna help me to believe, it better help ya to believe
That the Soul Stars are in season
& oops I beg yer pardon! I thought this was the Garden of Eden…

See the stars fall from the skies, rest so gently in thine eyes,
Hear the sighs of people sailin’ to the sands of Evermore,
They are bliss’d out by the shore with effervescent glory,
I’m gonna dance there on sea-shells, we’re in a trance where we’re ourselves …

Now’s the time to take the change, Soul Stars each & every one,
When the sun is at its summit, when is dancing life itself,
When is music more that health? When effervescent glory
& the rain & the flower & the sun & the love of ev’ryone
Will make the Soul Stars bloom this season,
& oops I beg yer pardon! I thought this was the Garden of Eden
& oops I beg yer pardon! Welcome to the Jester’s Garden…

‘Cos there’s a Soul Star shinin’ at just the right time,
I’m gonna catch me a Soul Star,
There’s a Soul Star fallin’ at just the right time,
I’m gonna catch me a Soul Star…

GOD
{spoken}
This is the end, my friends, the one
Reason to watch this show is done
So, press a button, clap your hands
& cheer your hearts out for these bands

Enter Shiny Riders & Soul Stars

If Shiny Riders are thy choice
Come celebrate them with wild voice
But if Soul Stars more your fancy
Come let your wild applause flow free

Be careful to deliberate
For in your vote lies all your fate

Enter Satan with a bazooka / the Shiny Riders all draw weapons & take the Soul Stars hostage

God
Jeez, jake, what a snake

Satan
Shut up Big Man ! You arre such a solid bringer-downer?” – I’ve had enough of your batshit bullshit – now I’ve got me one of those bad-ass nuclear bazookas, & with just an intsy wincy little flick from my trigger-finger, I’ll blow this whole sunshine provider to the backside of the universe, ya dig?

God
I dig

Satan
Daddy o I’m ready to go, all your hypes just a bunch of tripe – I came here looking for a little fun, so why don’t you cats dance to the tune of my gun, & give my boys the hard-earn’d victory – the soul of the Human Race will never be won by honest competition – that’s one nasty, fuck’d up species ya’’ll created,

Enter Jesus

Jesus
Hey man, relax, chill out, why ya being such a drag

Satan
You two can cool it while I rule it – the Human Race is your mistake, you made them bad then tried to make them good – no way, man – they’re just plain bad, & they’re gonna stay bad, ya dig – now, Big Man, before you freeze on the flying trapeze, shout out my sinners as the winners – before I do something we’re all gonna regret

Enter Elvis Presley

All this stud’s laying down is a deuce of demons, because he don’t spread nothing but thins on the line – put that gun down, boy, & listen up good – there ain’t nobody else but the King who’s the king? Hey, Shaun Ryder, you’ve got the right hammer but you use the wrong nail. And you, Ian Brown, you’re picking up nickels and laying down dimes but your bounce is beat and sour as limes. – I’m a hipper cat, understand – these days I’m utilised, digitalised, & immortalised; all the Hindoos thrive to my jive, all the Islams move on my groove, & the Buddhists, well, they just dig my lyrics – the Soul of the Human Race should not be decided by some astro-theological hunkum-punkum hocus pocus – Big Man in the sky ! Bad man in the ground, no way, jose, the Soul of the Human Race is music, & as the King of music, I say why don’t just let everybody dance… hit it

Elvis sings Hound Dog – everyone has a massive rave – after a while Satan stops the music & points the bazooka at Elvis

Satan
Well, Elvis Presley, if you’re the King, I’m holding the ace, now

God
Aw, just fuck off Satan

Jesus punches Satan – everyone cheers & the music continues

THE HEAVENLY UH-UH

In a

chorus –

c / g/ d/ em / c /d e major

I’m Elvis Aaron Presley
I’m better than Bez me
Electrical as Tesla
& who the fucks George Ezra

A ninja kid from Nashville
My destiny was ask’d to
Fill the planet’s magic
Like a NASA sadget

Now it’s all gone tits up at the Centre of the Sun
I am the only one
Who can save the day, uh-huh
uh-huh
uh-huh
uh-huh

I went from fresh apprentice
To the messiah from Memphis
No-one could never not groove
To my funky-punk moves

They thought me quite infernal
Cos Satan was my Colonel
So, beam me to the future
I’m screaming retribution

You should have let me play in Italy & Spain
But you lied & you cheated your way
Thro’ my given days, uh-huh
uh-huh
uh-huh
uh-huh

You got to keep on
Push down the pylons
Set off the fire alarms
Then keep the beat strong
& let your feet stomp
You’ve got to keep on keepin’ on
& when were one in revelry
That’s you & me in harmony
& when we’ve gone & harmoniz’d
We’ll get the feeling feeling really nice
You & me in harmony
mM & you

I’ve hunted like a hound dog
I’m fronting for a new god
You cannot hide, it’s too late
You’re going to the Pit, mate

With all of your freemasons
& idiotic racists
Hear my funky strumming
I’m the Second Coming

Giving all your bad advice is struck off for all time
Cos Satan & hatred rhyme
You must fade away, uh-huh
uh-huh…
You must fade away, uh-huh
uh-huh…
You must fade away, uh-huh
uh-huh…
{Satan fades away until he dissapears}

Elvis
{To the whore of Babylon}
But you, baby, you can stay – hit it

Elvis & the Whore of Babylon do a dance duet – the rest of the cast form a dance troupe

If you will feel us noise up your dealers
Knock back tequilas
& hit the dance floor
That’s what this songs for
It wont be long before we’re one
Cos when weve gone & harmonized
We’ll get the feeling feeling really nice
You & me that’s harmony

Me & you….

Everybody stand up
Theatres & night clubs
But if you’re stuck in prison
Turn up your television

Rock & Roll Apocalypse
Kickin’ in as it rips
Thro’ all your psyches
Princes, pimps & pikeys

Dancing has releas’d us
Flashy fashionistas
Heroin & High Kings
Valium & Vikings

Ecstasy Egyptian
DMT prescription
LSD Iraqi
Where’s the waccy-baccy

Gabriel’s got cocaine
God has got a crack grain
Jesus got his weed out
Everybody freak out

Yes, I’ve got my skunk out
Everybody funk now

This Rock & Roll Apocalypse is pretty near the end
& its time for Elvis to ascend
To the Heavenly, uh-uh

Finale to church bells


EPILOGUE

Bez is waking up Shaun

Bez
Shaun, wake up, for fuck’s sake, wake up!

Shaun
Bez – woah !

Bez
You’re on stage in half an hour mate, ya need to get up

Shaun
Fuckin hell, that was one mad trip

Bez
What was

Shaun
That dream I’ve just had, you were Satan, Rowetta was the Whore of Babylon & I was up front for the Four Horsemen of the fuckin’ Apocalypse

Bez
What the fuck have you been smoking

Shaun
It must have been that stuff what Kermit gave me

Bez
Kermit – they found him belly dancin’ naked in the hare krishna kitchen – he was off his head, anywhere, come on, get yer shit together, this gig’s gonna be fuckin’ bangin’

Shaun
I’m gonna need a hit of something first tho’

Bez
Ee’ya, bang a couple of these down yer neck & lets go

Shaun
I fucking love you Bez – you’re always there for me when I need ya

Bez
Come on yer dick!

Exit Bez & Shaun