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DRAMATIS PERSONAE

THE BROWNS
Belinda
Bella
James

Madelynn Bonnet : a witch
Mikaela: her assistant
Tony: stylist
Shania
Natisha… models
The Mirror
Merlin the Black Cat

BROWNIES
Bimbletongue
Griffinbeak
Danglenose
Puddlefoot
Dapplebeard
Fluffylips

Annie
Lucy… Yester school-girls

Janis: scientist
Fred: assistant

Fairy Queen
Puck
Centaur
Harry the Hamadryad
Puss-in-Boots

Aimee
Lucy… schoolgirls

Gremlin
Hobgoblin… goblins
Crogall… a Cave Troll

Hotel manager
Gary: assistant

Journalists

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SCENES

1: Crab Apple Cottage
2: Bella’s Bedroom
3: Backstage
4: Bella’s Bedroom
5: Catwalk – The Cat’s Parade
6: Forest – Buzzie Brownie Birthday / Isn’t It So
7: Milton Keynes
8: Fairyland – Fairy Wonderland
9: Bella’s Bedroom
10: School Playground
11: Madelynn’s secret room – Never Gonna Wake Up
12: Madelynn’s house
13: Madelynn’s secret room
14: Madelynn’s house
15: Outside Stoneypath Tower
16: Fairyland – When the Fairies Go to War
17: Stoneypath Tower
18: Nunraw Falls – The Waking of the Cave Troll
19: Outside Stoneypath Tower
20: Top of Stoneypath Tower
21: Bottom of Stoneypath Tower
22: Inside Stoneypath Tower
23: Top of Stoneypath Tower
24: Outside Stoneypath Tower
25: Crab Apple Cottage – Our Loving Pie / Family Time
26: Milton Keynes
27: Crab Apple Cottage
28: Press conference – This is a Brownie
29: Crab Apple Cottage

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Scene 1: DINNER

Crab Apple Cottage on Fiddlestick Lane, Gifford -James is setting the table. Enter Bella who comes in & slumps in the chair

James
Bella! How was school?

Bella
Rubbish

James
Oh don’t be like that, school is is a very important part of any child’s up-bringing

Bella
Its rubbish

James
Did something happen today

Bella
No

James
Look, here’s your tea;

Bella
What is it

James
Its pizza, potato wedges & beans, you have that & tell me what happened at school today
{sitting down at the table}
So what happen’d

Bella
They were teasing me about mum

James
Who were

Bella
Or just some kids from Year Five

James
What did they say

Bella
That she’d ran off a millionaire to France

James
That’s not true – well I don’t think it is – nobody what happen’d to you mother, I’m afraid, it’s a complete mystery

Bella
If she loved us she wouldn’t have left

James
Your mother loved both of us, very much, she would never…

Bella
Can I have this in my room

James
What

Bella
My room, can I eat this upstairs, I don’t really want to talk about it, I just want to be on my own

James
Oh – OK, make sure you bring the plate down

Bella starts to take the plate upstairs

James
Bella… I love you, I always will

Bella sighs & goes upstairs / James looks distraught

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Scene 2

Bella’s Bedroom – Bella is in bed – Enter James

James
You OK Bella

Bella
Yeah

James
You’ve hardly touch’d your dinner

Bella
I wasn’t hungry
James
Do you want some supper or something

Bella
I’ve got some crisps, I’ll be fine – but there is one thing I want

James
What is it

Bella
I want to see my mum – where is she

James
I don’t know babes – I miss her so much

Bella
Do you think, she’ll, she’ll ever come home

James
I hope so, I’m sure she will, I don’t have this feeling she’s gone forever, at all, I do sense her sometimes, I think we have to just get on with our lives &, well, just wait

Bella
Wait – for how long

James
I don’t know, darling, I really don’t

Bella
OK – I love you daddy

James
I love you too darling – goodnight

Bella
Goodnight

Exit James with plate of food

Bella
{as James is closing the door}
Daddy will you shut my…
{Bella gets out of bed & goes to close the window}
A shooting star! What did my mummy say – you should always make a wish when you see a shooting star — so, I wish, that I could see you mummy, I miss you so much

Bella goes back to bed & falls asleep with tears in her eyes & a few sniffles

---

Scene 3

Backstage at a fashion show in Edinburgh. The models, Tony, Natisha & Shania are getting ready for the catwalk – there is a bottle of some kind of milkshake & drain’d glasses scatter’d about

Natisha
I mean there’s only so much you can do with an avocado right

Shania
I know – it’s totally insane, but Jason seems to be organising the whole thing, so I’m not worried

Tony
Will somebody filming the event

Naomi
Yeah, STV I think

Enter Madelynn with Mikaela

Madelynn
Hello gang – you’re all looking fabulous – those roll’d up braids look fantastic, Shania – now come on, come on, finishing touches please – Natisha, that eyeliner is skew whiff on her

Natisha
What do you mean

Madelynn
Come here – give me that, let me show you
{begins to adjust Shania’s eye-liner}
If I can see it, so will Mathis de Bourneville, he’s in tonight from Paris, people – remember, this is meant to be a fantasy, not a travesty

Tony, Shania, Natisha
Sorry Madelynn

Madelynn
Has everybody had their special shake

Tony
We’ve all had it, yeah

Madelynn
Good – there’s so much fruity nourishment in pack’d in there, it’ll keep you looking so, so hot – so, remember, tonight is not about being too romantic, this is an asymmetrical collection – I want a grungey touch along with the glitter –

Natisha
It’s a great look, its very cool

Tony
I think your make-up is really beautiful – I love the highlights around the eyes – it really brings them out – it’s very bare, but it has a bit of twinkle, it’s very interesting

Madelynn
Tony no, the green ones

Tony
But I thought you said you liked the yellow

Madelynn
I’ve chang’d my mind – you look like someone just puked up on your trousers – change them
(to Shania}
& babes, what did I say last week – you need to work more on your palates & butt-crunches, have you

Shania
A little bit

Madelynn
Well, clearly not enough – did I tell you Mathis de Bourneville was in town… Mikaela

Mikaela
Yes, Madelynn

Madelynn
Take a photo for my insta – gather round peeps
{Mikaela takes a photograph}
OK guys, I’m off to my seat – its one minute til lift off… Shania, you’re up first – remember – left foot, right foot, left foot, pause, twirl

Shania
Right foot, left foot, pause twirl – I got it

Madelynn
Good – right gang, lets show them what we got, & what we got is style

They cheer

---

Scene 4

Bella’s bedroom – she is sleeping – Bimbletongue the Brownie enters the room

Bimbletongue
Psst – wakey wakey – Bella, wake up
{Bella awakes with a start}
No, no, no, no, scared don’t be
I’m Bimbletongue the Brownie

Bella
You’re who, I mean what!

Bimbletongue
I am Bimbletongue the Brownie
& upon a star you wish’d

Bella
I did? oh, I did, yes, the meteor

Bimbletongue
Wish you did, & so I’m here to help you

Bella
Help, what do you mean

Bimbletongue
The Land of Fairies of I am
& Humans cannot see us
Unless, of course, we want them to
But if one wishes on a star
Upon the eve of Beltaine
They gain the sight to see us
So here I am

Bella
What do you want – I’m scar’d

Bimbletongue
Scar’d don’t be, I am your friend
This is my house as well, you see,
I clean it when you’re sleeping fast
& help myself to milk & honey
For how else would you thank me

Bella
YOU’RE the reason there’s not enough milk for my cereals sometimes

Bimbletongue
About such things sorry I am, but then again so good it tastes

Bella
Is it you who makes the noises in the night

Bimbletongue
Sometimes, yes

Bella
Hah – I knew it wasn’t the wind – so, what do you want

Bimbletongue
Well, to help I’m here, your wish I heard, your mother for to find

Bella
Mummy

Bimbletongue
Yes, one of my kinfolk thinks exactly knows he where she is

Bella
He does – he knows where my mummy is

Bimbletongue
Yes, come with me you must, & let the Brownies help you

Bella
Brownies – I’m a Brownie

I’m a Brownie too, you know

Bimbletongue
You’re what

Bella
I’m a Brownie

Bimbletongue
Look like one you don’t

Bella
Well, only on Mondays, when I go to Brownies after school

Bimbletongue
On Mondays a Brownie you are

Bella
Yes

Bimbletongue
No – no – a Brownie, not you are – I am a Brownie, & a good look at me now take, am I not a wonderful fellow

Bella
Ehm

Bimbletongue
I am a Brownie, not you, we were once very famous on this island – in times of old, in every home one of us did live – but now, there are so many humans, we only live with the nicest people

Bella
Does that mean me & my daddy are nice

Bimbletongue
Yes – & your mother, lovely she was, – I miss her too

Bella
You miss my mummy

Bimbletongue
That is why I am here, & to the party you shall come

Bella
Party

Bimbletongue
Yes, tonight there is a birthday, my cousin Griffinbeak turns umptythree, & my other cousin, Puddlefoot there shall be, where your mother is she knows

Bella
What – you want me to come

Bimbletongue
Come, yes, to the party come

Bella
But, my daddy said never go off with strangers, & you’re the strangest stranger I ever did see

Bimbletongue
A stranger I am not, my name is Bimbletongue, now we are friends

Bella
But we’re not friends

Bimbletongue
Listen not to your head, Bella, but to your heart – what to you does it say

Bella
It says to… trust you, & go find my mummy

Bimbletongue
Well, then Bella, go we shall – wwll what are these, in this box O here’s your shoes, here’s your socks, – here’s your coat, its green & blue, Oh Bella, how that coats suits you

Bella
Ok – Ok – OK – I’ll put them on

Bimbletongue
Good, good, good – quietly going we shall, wake up your father want we not – shhhhh !

Bella
{whispering}
Alright

Bella
I’m ready

Bimbletongue
Follow me

Bella & Bimbletongue creep out of the bedroom

---

Scene 5

A fashion show in Edinburgh

THE CATS PARADE

What’s the story about the Cat’s Parade
It’s a cruel, cruel business but it’s just a game
Just a game, just a game say the players

So, we all go down to the fashion show
Walk the walk like a gigolo
They paint their toes, donning rentaclothes in their layers

Time after time
You look so sweet girl
& I’m hypnotised
By your dancing feet girl
By your dancing feet

I’ll tell you a story about a girl named Mona
She spends all her money on silicone
& she gets her fix from her weetabix & her snickers
She mov’d to London when she was sixteen
She’ got an IQ of 160
& now she flits where the lifestyle fits city slickers

Time after time
You look so sweet girl
& I’m hypnotised
By your dancing feet girl
By your dancing feet

What’s the story about the cat’s parade
It’s a cruel, cruel business but it’s just a game
Just a game, just a game, just a game
You and I butterflies
Blame it on the Cat’s Parade
Me & you cockatoos
Blame it on the Cat’s Parade
You & me, celery

I’ll sing you a story ’bout the House of Bonnet
You’ve got to look hot, fashionista senate
& if you’re not you’re a social spot on the party
There’s a midnight shoot for the Madonna
Just give it a week & she’ll be a gonner
& we love the way that she’ll sit & say I’m so arty

Time after time
You look so sweet girl
& I’m hypnotised
By your dancing feet girl
By your dancing feet

---

Scene 6

A group of Brownies – Griffinbeak, Danglenose, Puddlefoot, Dapplebeard & Fluffylips – are in a clearing in the woods – there is a birthday party happening with lots of cake

BUZZY BROWNIE BIRTHDAY

Ho ro ro ro

Buzzy buzzy buzzy…
Buzzy brownie birthday
Lots of fun & mirth day
Take a seat with Griffinbeak
He loves his friends

Ho ro ro ro
Rikky tikky tolly vo

Come & take a break dear
Come & try some cake here
Have a slice its very nice
But where’s the cream

Ho ro ro ro
Rikky tikky tolly vo

Buzzy buzzy buzzy…
Buzzy brownie birthday
It falls upon a Thursday
Danglenose & Puddlefoot
You’re my best friends

From the bonny bells of heather
We drank a toast together
Twas sweeter far than honey
Twas stronger far than wine

Buzzy buzzy buzzy…
Buzzy brownie birthday

Dapplebeard
Does everybody have a drink & a slice

Puddlefoot
Yes

Fluffylips
I do

Danglenose
I don’t have a drink

Dapplebeard
Oh! I am so sorry Danglenose, here’s yours

Danglenose
Hmm, thank-you very much

Puddlefoot
Well, happy birthday Griffinbeak, umpty-three today – Hip-hip
{Hooray}
Hip-hip
{Hooray}
Hip-hip
{Hooray}
Now — scoff

Everyone downs their drink scoffs their cake down

Fluffylips
That cake was very delicious indeed

Dapplebeard
It certainly was, Fluffylips, my love

Griffinbeak
Yes, a very good cake indeed

Enter Bimbletongue & Bella

Bimbletongue
Hello my friends, late I am, & sorry with that too – with me a guest I bring
{all the Brownies hide / Bimbletongue finds a slice of cake & scoffs it down}
Birthday Happy, Griffinbeak – worry not, it is alright, with me she is

Griffinbeak
{Stepping nervously out of hiding}
What is she doing here, Bimbletongue, she’s one of the big people

Bella
I’m not that big

Griffinbeak
You will be one day

The rest of the Brownies, except Puddlefoot, step out of hiding

Bimbletongue
She wished upon a shooting star there is nothing I could do about it

Dapplebeard
Oh, this is very bad, it’s very bad indeed

Bimbletongue
Happening it is, nothing we can do about it, & help this girl little needs

Danglenose
What kind of help

Bimbletongue
Where is Puddlefoot

Puddlefoot
{Stepping out of hiding}
Here I am, cousin

Bimbletongue
Talk to you we want to do, about the house by the river – live there you did

Puddlefoot
Yes, what about it

Bimbletongue
The woman sleeping there, her mother is, yes

Puddlefoot
It is, yes

Bella
You know where my mother is – & she is still alive

Puddlefoot
Well, she was when I left the house – but I didn’t like it, not at all, not at all, the mistress of the house was a witch

Bella
A witch

Puddlefoot
Yes

Puddlefoot
But I’m now at a nice house who leave chocolates out for me – they don’t know it, but I always like to finish off a box – except for the nutty ones of course

Bella
So, where is the house

Dapplebeard
Little girl, you are now a friend of the Brownies, & we will do everything we can to help you, but this is a matter for the Fairy Queen herself

Bella
The Fairy Queen

Dapplebeard
Yes, you will have to go a see her, she will know how to counter the witch’s evil magic

Bella
Thank-you so much

Puddlefoot
Well, let’s go

Bella
What now

Bimbletongue
Yes, before dawn, before your father wakes up

Bella
OK – but is it alright to have a wee bit of this lovely looking cake, I’m peckish

Fluffylips
NOOO

Bella
What, sorry

Fluffylips
YOU cannot eat one of our cakes – you will be stuck in Fairyland forever, & that’s not allow’d

Bella
Oh, I’m sorry

Dapplebeard
So, it is settl’d, Puddlefoot & Bimbletongue, you will escort, your name young lady

Bella
Bella

Dapplebeard
You will escort Bella to the Fairy Queen at once

Bella starts crying

Griffinbeak
Ah what’s the matter, little big girl

Bella
I miss my mummy

Dapplebeard
Listen, we will all do our best to find her for you, won’t we Brownies
{the Brownies agree}
Now go, follow Bimbletongue & Puddlefoot, you will be safe with them

Bellla
Thank-you, so much, bye-bye

Bimbletongue
Come this way, go this way we shall

Exit Bimbletongue, Puddlefoot & Bella

TRA-LA-LA

Isn’t it so …
Sad to see
A child
Without its mother
So long has she been away
Don’t cry sweet Bella
Were going to find a way

Tra-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la

Isn’t it so…
Sad to know
A child misses its mother
So long has she been away (hey=hey)
We’re going to help you Bella
Yes, the Brownies will find a way

We are the Brownies
Helpings our thing
& because we’re Brownies
We love to sing

Tra-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la

{Drop to the f on the child without its mother then back to g}